The internet has areas that appeal to all the most important sides of our lives, including relationships and sex. There are a few different sides to relationships and sex on the internet - some can be helpful, some not. The aspects of sex that are most popular on the internet are:

• Help, information & advice
• Chat / meeting people
• Pornography

The internet has become an important part of our lives, and now, most teens in developed countries use the internet every day. It has been predicted that by 2012, a quarter of the world's population will be using the internet regularly.¹ Although the internet can be very useful, as it has grown, the portrayal of sex on the internet hasn't always been responsible.

This page contains some simple tips on internet safety for teens. It gives advice on accessing sexual health information, safe internet use, and how to find what you're looking for online.

Help, information & advice on the internet

There are a large number of resources for teens available on the internet. On the subjects of 'sex' and 'relationships', sites often give help, advice or information. This type of information seems to be very important to teens - an American survey found that 75% of young people use the internet to look for health information ². The availability of this kind of information on the internet can be particularly important for teens living in areas where access to health information is more scarce. A study in Ghana found that 53% of teens used the internet to find health information, and that it was a particularly important source for young people who were not attending school.³

“There are a large number of resources for teens available on the internet”

But to find the right information, you have to look in the right places. AVERT.org is an example of a site that gives information, primarily about HIV and AIDS. It also has a teens section that contains information for young people. Examples of websites that offer help and advice for teens are available from the AVERT.org help page. Some of these websites may be operated by larger organisations who also offer helplines – phone lines on which you can talk to people, usually in confidence.

Websites that offer help, advice and information can be extremely useful, especially if you want to find out about things that you're not taught in sex education classes at school, or that you can't talk to your parents about. There are a few things you need to watch out for, though...

The truth, and nothing but the truth?

It's all very well if the information is accurate, but there's no way of knowing that what you read about sex on the internet is true. Anyone can put up a web page claiming that you won't get pregnant if you have sex standing up, for example - but that doesn't make it true! (It isn't true, by the way!) Just because something's on the internet doesn't mean it's correct. If you're looking for information about something important, try to double-check on more than one site, to make sure that it is trust worthy.

Hidden agenda?

Some sites might give (or not give) you certain information about sex and relationships for a reason of their own. For example, some religious organisations don't believe in sex before marriage. If one of these organisations runs a website, can you be sure that it'll give you the full info on how to have safer sex, for example? Even worse, can you be sure that it won't give you wrong information, to try and put you off having sex?

Linked up

Some websites – including some religious ones – give really good, honest information about sex and relationships. But how do you know which ones are honest and which ones aren't? Sometimes you can find out stuff about who made the site by clicking the about us link - most websites have one. Another way to find a reliable website can be to ask a teacher, or your doctor to recommend a good one. Or, if you can't find what you're looking for on our website, you can try the ones on our help page – we only link to reliable organisations.

Revving the search engine

The number of internet users who use search engines (like Google or Yahoo!) has risen significantly, with young people in particular relying on search engines to find the information they are looking for on the internet.⁴

"If I need help with something then I would go on google as that's the only place I'd know where to go." - 16 year-old boy⁵

To find what you want using a search engine, you have to use the right keywords. For example, if you just type "teen sex" into the search box, you'll probably notice that there are a lot of websites about 'teen sex' that don't give any advice at all – and, unless you're looking for pornography, they won't be any help to you. Try using different words, as well as teen or sex - words like advice, help, or information.

Through the filter

Some computer programs have special filters that are meant to stop pornography – they often look out for words about sex, and if they find those words, they might not display the website that uses them. The trouble is, this can sometimes mean that they also accidentally stop you from accessing advice about sex on the internet. Most public computers, in schools and libraries for example, use filters. Often, filters can be programmed to let certain sites through, so if you find that you can't access AVERT.org (or another useful site) at school, ask your teacher if it can be allowed through.

Filters can be turned on or off, whatever suits you. Most search engines have a button saying 'preferences' allowing you to put the filter on or off. Microsoft Windows TM also has a filter option that you can turn on or off. To change this, ask the owner of the computer.

Internet safety for teens - meeting people, chatting, making friends

Relationships on the internet

Almost all teens who have access to the web use it to chat, email, SMS or IRC with their friends. There are now loads of places online where you can talk to people. Some of them (like message boards) are for discussing particular subjects. Others (usually chatrooms, or IRC) work in real time, so you can have a 'live' conversation with someone over the internet. Social networking sites (like Facebook and MySpace), where users create a 'profile' of themselves online, are used by lots of teens to keep in touch with friends and meet new people.

New technology has created loads of new ways to make friends and talk to them. Many teens find that communication over the web plays a really important role in their friendships and relationships – lots of people even meet their boyfriends or girlfriends online. But this is an area where you have to be really careful - get it wrong and it could cost you your life!

Having sex on the internet

“People you meet on the internet may not be who they say they are, and even if someone sends you a photo of themselves, it doesn't prove anything.”

The web is also used by some people not just to chat, but to cyber – to have sex with someone over the internet. Sounds crazy? Well lots of people do it, sometimes with webcams, sometimes just typing stuff they'd like to do to each other. Cybering can be ok as long as you don't let it carry over into real life. And, even if it sounds a bit strange, it's still a form of safe sex - you won't get any STDs from cybering with someone!

But there are some precautions you have to take on the web. People you meet on the internet may not be who they say they are, and even if someone sends you a photo of themselves, it doesn't prove anything – so don't take anyone for granted.

Staying safe

• Don't go to meet people you know only from the internet!
• If you do decide you're going to meet someone anyway, take a friend with you and make sure your parents or an adult know where you're going and who you're with.
• Make sure the person you're meeting knows that you've told an adult what you're doing.
• Go somewhere where there are lots of other people around - a busy mall, for example.
• Don't give out personal information over the internet - don't tell anyone your name and address, for example. If you use social networking sites, make sure that this information isn't on your profile and that you know what your privacy settings are.
• If someone you know from a chatroom or board wants you to send them pictures or personal info – stop and think! Why are they asking, and can you be sure they're who they say they are?
• Sometimes you might want to go along to something you've heard about online – maybe a youth group, counselling or information sessions. A bit of common sense is needed here. And if you're unsure, always ask someone else's opinion.

Internet safety for teens - pornography

The most common thing you might find on the internet when looking for information and advice about sex, is pornography ('porn' for short). 'Porn' can come in the form of sexual pictures, writing, photos or films. It can be annoying, especially if you're looking for something else. In the UK, 57% of teens reported coming across pornography online while they looked for other things ⁶. That's not really surprising, as there are millions of porn sites on the web, generating billions of dollars. Some people find looking at sex on the internet exciting, but there are some important things you need to know about porn.

• There's loads of porn on the internet and it can be very hard to avoid. But if you don't like it, you don't have to look at it. Filtering software can be used to stop your computer from showing porn sites.
• Pornography isn't always just pictures or films. It can also include cartoons or writing, or even chatroom talk, if it gets too strong.
• There are lots of different types of pornography on the internet, and it ranges from quite mild stuff to things that are illegal.
• In some parts of the world, there are age limits on looking at porn, so make sure you're over the legal age. In many countries, if you are under the age of consent, it may be illegal for you to view all pornography, whatever type; pictures, films or written.
• In many parts of the world, some types of pornography are illegal, and you can get in trouble if it's found on your computer. The laws about what is legal are different in different countries, but pornography involving children or animals is illegal in most countries. People who have been found to have large quantities of illegal pornography on their computers have been sent to prison.
• Lots of people find it offensive – so don't show it to other people or leave it where other people can find it.
• Some people like to use pornography for masturbation. Masturbation isn't wrong at all, but pornography can be, and you might not be allowed to look at certain things because of laws in your area.
• Remember – porn only shows sexual images, and there's much more to sex than this. Sex is also about feelings and relationships, and pornography doesn't show that. It also doesn't show important parts of sex, like how to protect against pregnancy or STDs.
• Pornography sites can be really difficult to get away from. They can add themselves to your favourites, for example, or to your desktop. Sometimes they can get your modem to dial international numbers which cost you a fortune. If you look at these sites, you need a really good firewall, spy- and mal-ware blockers, and a good Trojan- and virus-killer.
• If someone's showing or sending you porn, and you don't feel comfortable, ask them to stop. If they don't, then you should think about asking a teacher or parent for advice. This can be a type of abuse.

Don't be put off!

Okay, so there are dangers on the internet. You can find false information, and people aren't always who they say they are. But don't let this put you off!

The web can also be a really valuable resource for sexual health information. Almost anything you could possibly need to know is out there somewhere, all the things you wanted to ask but couldn't go to your teachers or parents about. It's completely safe, as long as you remember the basic tips about internet safety for teens that you've read on this page.

As well as sexual health information, the web can put you in touch with other people – if you're going through a difficult time, you can find other people who've had the same experiences and can help. Or maybe you've been through a difficult experience and want to use that to help other people. That's fine, as long as you remember to divide your time between the web and real life. If you go to anything in real life that you found about from the web, you have to be really careful that it's safe – even something like counselling sessions. As long as you're careful, and as long as you stick to safe and reputable sites, the net can be great. You're never alone if you're online.

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References

1. ITNews (2008, 26th June), 'Quarter of the planet to be online by 2012'.
2. The Henry J Kaiser Family Foundation (2001, December), 'How young people use the internet for health information'.
3. Borzekowski D., Fobil J. and Asante K. (2006, May), 'Online Access by Adolescents in Accra: Ghanaian Teens' Use of the Internet for Health Information', Developmental Psychology 42(3).
4. Pew Internet & American Life Project (2008, 6th August), 'Search engine use'.
5. UNICEF & THT (2009), 'Sexual Health, Rights and Staying Safe: Young people’s views on sex and UK sexual health services'.
6. Economic and social research council (2005, April), 'UK Children Go Online: Final report of key project findings'.