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Sarah 1

My name is Sarah. Two nights ago I had a conversation with my dad, and we got into a big argument about gay rights. He struggles with homophobic feelings towards gay people and as a result doesn't have problems with people using 'gay' as a negative term ("What a fag!") or joking about gay men.

I was going to come out to my parents when I got home for Christmas, but now I'm just not sure. He thinks that bisexual people are just 'confused' or gay but haven't accepted it yet. I hate knowing that when I do tell him, he'll dismiss my words and assure me I'm straight. Then, if he ever does come to accept my sexual identity, he'll struggle with his underlining homophobia.

I just... I feel so trampled. After the conversation I had with my dad, I sent him a long email telling him how upset I was. I also sent an email to my brother because he is guilty of the same things. They both replied horribly: my brother used swears, and my dad told me I was painting them as monsters. All the while he has no idea that everything he is saying about gay people is personal....

I've talked to some amazing friends, and they all seem to think the best thing is to come clean. Regardless of whether they take me seriously, they'll know--at the very least--that I think I'm bisexual, and therefore think I'm being insulted when they talk about homosexuality.

I'm 18, and in second university. There aren't that many things I know, but I know that I am equally attracted to women and men; I have been this way my entire life.

Do I need to confront my parents? I know the conversation will be a difficult one... could it ruin everyone's holiday? Could it create much more honest discussions about homophobia?

I don't know. Like I said, I feel trampled: overwhelmed with the desire to tell them, but beaten down every time I get close. I am happy with myself, I love that I am attracted to both sexes. Will my parents acknowledge how I feel? Will they dismiss it as a phase?

I guess I don't know until I try. I'll be home by tomorrow this time, wish me luck.