You are here
Hi, I'm 21 yrs old and I'm HIV+ I was told this awful news on feb 4, 2011. When I was 5 mths pregnant with my first child. I don't know how I contracted the disease due to me being with my baby's father for 2.5 yrs. He turned out to be negative! So i must have got it frm a previous partner. I felt ashamed, guilty for allowing someone to ruin my life like this! I lost my Virginty when I was 18 so I wasn't even promiscuous; it's not fair that this has happen to me. I was under so much stress that I had my bby 3 mths early and he was born a 2 lb premie THANK GOD! he is negative and now weighs 16lbs:) his father left me shortly after we found out the horrible news. I feel like I've lost my soulmate:(
My family loves me but they are in denial. They don't acknowledge what I have. They just pretend its not true and it hurts because I have to basically go though this alone and raise my infant son. I'm afraid that I won't be able to see him grow into a man and have kids of his own. I afraid of not being able to find love again and not get married and expand my family. This disease has brought many doubts to my future and my life but I have to be strong for my bby. He's depending on me regrardless of what I have and I know he loves me unconditionally if no one else does:) although Im not required to go on meds because my cd4 is 1000 and my VL is 2500 which is very good I'm still afraid of whats to come with this lifelong incurable disease. I truly hope and pray that they will come up with a cure for me and those who are in the same situation. They have recieve great success with the Berlin patient:) so GOD, my son and being hopeful that a cure may soon be within our reach is the only thing that keeps me sane!!