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My name is Kelsey. I’m 15 years old. God is a HUGE part of my life. I guess you could call me a “Jesus freak,” most of the people I know classify me as that.
I’ve known I was attracted to girls FOR SURE for about four years. It tore me up inside, knowing that I was a lesbian and keeping it quiet, but at the same time hearing all of my best friends, who are my church friends, make homophobic slurs hurt more.
Lately, I have felt like God has really been talking to me. About two weeks ago I came to this epiphany that, even though I’m not straight, God would always love me.
Two days ago, I was the Lay Reader at my church. I had this gut feeling that I would have to read a Bible verse that in some way pertained to homosexuality. The fact that the verse was about homosexuality was a very big push for me and I took that as a direct sign from God, be that the case or not.
Yesterday, I was in the car with my mom. We were driving to Barnes and Noble, and I mentioned to her that I was planning on taking part in the Day of Silence at my high school. After I had explained to her what that was, she asked me if “by any chance” I was gay. I told her that you don’t have to be gay to do the Day of Silence, but even if I was I didn’t think it mattered. She agreed, but still wanted to know. So I just told her. I was shaking from head to toe. After we got past the immediate awkwardness of the moment, everything seemed ok. We even started to joke about it.
My sister has known for awhile about my sexuality, and I have cousins who know, and I think one even told the rest of my family in a drunken stage that he was in. I was annoyed at first with this, but at least I don’t have to do it now.
The hardest thing for me to do was to accept myself. Being surrounded constantly by people that hate you, but don’t even know they hate you yet is hard. I’ve only come out to two of my church friends, both girls. They accepted it fully and wholly and love me even more for it. I know the rest won’t accept me the same way.
I’m thankful for the loving family that I have. I wouldn’t trade them for the world, and I wouldn’t change who I am or who I love. Ever.
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