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So as a 21 yr old woman, who has never had a boyfriend, i was beginning to think i would never be comfortable with men. For me it was beginning to seem like i was going backwards with guys, and i'd always thought i'd be in a stable relationship before i did anything. So here enter's what's his name, a random 26 yr old guy, who's 'into' me, or atleast into getting into my pants. tuesday i meet him at a bar, wednesday he takes me out to dinner. he's not fantastic looking, he's not charming, and he's not really my type, but he is a nice guy who tells me he likes the way i look. I know anything he says might not be the truth, but at that point i didn't care.
so friday rolls around and i meet up with him at a friends place, he's drunk and i've also had a few. The conversation gets a little vulgar and i leave the room, he follows me into the bedroom and at this point i tell him i feel like i've been leading him on. to my suprise he wants to talk to me, i tell him i'm a virgin and he says thats ok i'll 'teach you'. when he said that i was so unhappy with the way it sounded, and with what i was about to do that i left the room and cried. after i calmed down i went back to the bedroom and talked to him again, he said 'what do you want, it's just sex'. again to my suprise i didn't run out of the room, i realised that it was just sex, and something that i thought was a big deal, my virginity, began to get smaller and smaller. i told him that i wouldn't touch him without a condom on, he wrapped it up, told me to control myself onto him. in the beginning it hurt a bit, but after that it became a lot of fun. this experience was only possible because of the way I felt, it shouldn't matter who the guy is, or what he says, YOU have to be comfortable with yourself. I was never pressured to lose it, and i'm proud of the way i did. even if i never see him again, i have learned from that experience, it has allowed me to be more comfortable with myself, and to grow as a young woman.