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Stories

Cal

I'm Cal and I'm 14 years old. I've known that I like guys since I was 10 years old, and always called myself bi. I felt more safe that way and thought if anyone knew I was gay it would be a massive thing. I finally accepted that I was gay at the age of 12, and have since been busting to tell someone.
I don't come across as gay to anyone, and I would completely shock anyone I told. I think that before I wasn't actually ready, but then I looked up a lot more youtube videos and coming out stories and finally knew I was ready to tell people.
One big problem is that I go to a private anglican all boys school, so I'm not too close with a lot of girls. None of my family is religious and would be completely accepting of anything, but telling my parents is just about the scariest thing I could do. It would change their opinion of me. I don't know why I'm so scared because they wouldn't mind at all, and they mightn't be too upset about not having grandkids because they always have my sister. I'm very close to my sister and would have no problem telling her about it.

ANYWAY back to the school topic. I know that people make gay jokes, but I also know for a fact that none of my friends have a problem with gay people. There is only one of them who does, and they say things like "all fags should die" I don't really call him my friend, but they hang out with my group.

Back to topic again, I told a friend (who used to go to my school, but moved away) over facebook. He didn't mind at all, and his response showed that he really didn't care that much. He gave a short response saying: "Oh right. You haven't told me yet but either way I won't tell anyone." I was surprised that he wasn't as shocked, and a bit upset, but it helped a lot to build up my confidence. Just that much made me feel so much more free about everything! Whenever I'm talking to him I don't feel awkward about anything. Even though i'd only told HIM, it felt odd talking to people, and going to school was hard. I knew they didn't know about it but something just felt different.
Now we're at where I am now. I'm ready to tell people at school (and my sister) but everything would spread in a night. My facebook wall would be covered in things, and because I'm connected with my family and everyone I know, EVERYONE would find out all at once.

I shouldn't be worried about anything considering how well I have it. I'm very lucky to have the family and community that I do, and yet I still find it hard. I expect that it will be hard at first, but I think it should all work itself out. I won't come out to everyone at once, I'll slowly edge the idea in until other people are ready to accept me too.

Everyone who comes out finds it hard, but honestly the feeling pf being open with at least one person is so amazing and liberating. Thank you if you read through my dull, short story and I hope it's helped you realise that there are easier ways to do things. I might have it easy, but I'm sure you can find someone who will accept you. Y