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Zachery

Hi guys, my name is Zachery, and I am 16. You know how people say, "Oh I have known all my life that I was gay," well for me that is not true. For the longest time I thought I was straight but after a while I realized I was attracted to guys, and I did fight myself. I constantly told myself, "I am not gay, being gay isn't acceptable, being gay is completely and horribly bad," so on and so forth, and at that point it was actually a little over a year ago January 2012 is when I first started to accept myself, and at that point I thought I was BI, now of course there is nothing wrong with being BI, but it is not who I am. The very first person I came out to was my best friend. She is very nice and accepting but I was still worried to tell anyone. That is because my school is basically homophobe high, being gay is a very bad idea there...but when I did come out to my friend she accepted me, and the funny thing is, I came out to her, IN A TEXT MESSAGE! Now, yes I realize if she wasn't accepting she could have showed everyone the next day, but I didn't care, I had to get it off my chest, tell someone, anyone. The great thing is she accepted me and she was the only one that knew for about 2 months. My parents didn't exactly find out the way I wanted them to (lol) I was texting someone I met online (not sexting just texting) and I told them I loved them. It was a guy. Well they decided that I was being annoying so they were just going to take my phone and look through it. They saw the conversations, no we didn't exchange any dirty pics (lol again) because again, it was just texting, but we did see what each other looked like, they saw the texts and the pics and blew up at me. Then dad attacked me. I don't mean words, no I mean physically assaulted me. Now a few days before this, because this was the end of May last year (2012) I realized I am gay. I yell at them, "I AM GAY, IT IS MY LIFE LEAVE ME ALONE AND LET ME LIVE IT!" They said, "WE COULDN'T BE ANY MORE DISAPPOINTED IN YOU THEN WE ARE NOW!" They keep my phone for a few months and change my number. Then they say that they will continue to randomly check my phone. So another words, parents aren't accepting and my brother isn't accepting (older) and none of my like not immediate family is accepting either, no one is very welcoming. Because of all that I got up the courage to SLOWLY come out to people at school. Not many know but a few do. I plan to finish coming out my senior year of high school which begins this August. I plan to get away from my family as soon as I can and disown them. I thank you for reading my story, and I hope it helps those of you out there struggling with your, sexual Identity, orientation, preference, anything you want to call your current struggle, and I want you to know, my story may be worse (I hope it is), worse than what happens when you come out, I hope you guys (and gals) have better luck than me. I wish you all the best of luck and this story is not just for those who are gay bi or lesbian to read and think about, it includes the whole LGBT community and those it doesn't stand for. Have a great time and again I wish you the best of luck coming out to everyone.