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Shaun

I have been going out with my girlfriend now for almost a year and 8 months. Our relationship can be described to many as weird since she is a Baptist Christian with her whole family following suit and myself and my family being Atheists. However, our relationship is as strong as it can be after such a long period of time. The one thing that is key in our relationship though is communication. I told her roughly 6 months after going out that I was very interested in her sexually (this was a big step up since it took us a month and half to kiss due to us being so shy). From that point on were engaged in many sexual activities; it slowly escalated to touching over the clothes to under then eventually oral. One thing should be pointed out is that she does feel guilty in engaging in sexual activities because of her religion but I have never and never will pressure her into doing something. Anyway, with out relationship slowly escalating to what it was we were extremely horny/ turned on for the past couple of weeks. We kept talking about sex and about how much we wanted to make love, but we both decided to only make love after marriage. However, things took a major turn. I bought condoms on the advice from my girlfriend just in case we actually did have sex, just to be on the safe side but with no intention of actually using them. But as you probably guessed we did use them for their actual purpose. After another moment (of many) of us two touching each other and whatnot, she managed to convince herself to have sex with me. I was saying things like "Are you sure?" and "It is up to you", obviously really wanting to do it but like I said not wanting to add pressure. So she said yeah, I put on the condom after a failed attempt (didn't know it was upside down, if that is even an excuse) then we got in the missionary position. Now this was both our first times, we have never actually had sex before that point but I do 'finger' her so to say, so obviously she has felt a penetrative sensation. So we went ahead and I put my penis inside her, waited until she didn't feel the pain anymore and moved with the strength and speed she wanted. After a bit I was free to do as I pleased within reason. We stayed in the missionary position for a bit longer then she went on top, after that we went back to the original position. Despite our loving comments for each other and the amazing feeling of finally being 'together', the pleasure part was not as what it would seem. Don't get me wrong it did feel great, amazing even at some parts but not quite what I expected. It was like our special plan for our first time was ruined by going on what our hormones said. We imagined doing it after marriage in a nice house somewhere with no one to disturb us (I know this is cheesy but I think going out for that length of time gives us the right to hope for such things). Anyway I felt pleased that we finally had sex but something just felt missing, it wasn't what it is seemed to be like in movies or what society says. She thought the same, she even stopped it halfway through. At this point she was very very upset, not crying but close. She was upset due to the fact that we ruined our first time and that doing it in my room while my parents were still in the house (hormones can drive you nuts) was not the best way to go about it. This happened last week, we talk about the moment and I still crave for sex unsurprisingly and she knows it. She too wants to have sex again but on her 'sober' terms, not on instinct. Even yesterday we were one step away from doing it again but managed to settle for something less. We aren't little bunnies that only think about having sex all the time but rather we are trying to express our feelings for each other, this is particularly evident for us as a relationship at our length is unheard of in most parts of Scotland (we are both of legal age by the way). I guess one thing that can be learned from this experience is that communication is key no matter who you have sex with. Because if I did not comfort her after finally having sex, we would not be at this stage in our relationship which has improved very well after having sex which I find surprising. I just hope that we can have sex again relatively soon, not just for pleasure but so we can experience that amazing sensation that everyone seems to talk about when having sex.