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Eve

hi My name is Eve, i totally get Le story. I was infected and found out 3 years ago and i still have the very same feelings that Lee has got. sometimes i wonder if the stigma isnt fuelled by us "the infected". I keep going through these different motions and emotions, one moment i am going to beat this the next Im down and feel like giving up. I feel like my life was totally ruined the moment and day I found out, sometimes i think it might have been better to have gone on not knowing. i went from being happy to being totally sad in a day. I keep hoping things will get better, but i lack the courage to make that happen, or even the strenght, its really a shame what HIV does to one, beacuse the turht is if it were treated like any other disease things wouldnt be so bad.instead you are made or maybe you even make yourself feel dirty and sinful. I was rejected by my boyfriend of 2 months after i got diagoned and now i am afraid to go out there, i find that men dont really approach me much, i wonder if its because i send negative vibes. i must admit that i do tend to get very cold when approached by a man, especially beacuse i ahd a very paiful breakup and was let down by someone i trulu loved (not the guy who infected me). My life is really difficult, i wonder if this is it? if this is how i am meant to live tis life? im sooo very sad and tired all the time.