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B Addis

Hi my name is B am 19. I live in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia(seat of african union) i am gay i knew that i'm gay befor 8 years when i was grade 5. I'm ashamed of it and even it is unthinkable to expose that i am gay. I'm always think that i am sinner and God will never give me mercy. Sometimes i think to sucide my self. I'm now university student all my dorm mates talk about girls but even i don't have an idea about girls. I feel my teachers and my friends in z class. No one can understand me. My gay friends in z campus are dissmissed becaus of they are gay. I can't learn every time i am alone think about my sexual orientation. As ethiopian orthodox church is dominant homosexuality is so punishable abtu 26 yrs in prison that is why am afraid. What can i do?