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The first time I ever considered having sex I was 16 and I had been dating my then boyfriend for over 9 months although we didn't go through with it in the end. After we broke up I met the guy I did eventually lose my Virginity to. He was very kind to me and did make me feel special. He and I did partake in oral sex and such and eventually on my 17th birthday he asked me if I wanted to have sex I did say no and that I wasn't ready so he just smiled at me and told me he understood and I really respected him for that because I knew he really wanted to have sex (he wasn't a virgin). We didn't have sex until 10 months later- exactly 2 months before my 18th birthday- and I don't regret it. We had discussed having sex before and he had told me that I must only have sex when I felt I was ready and it didn't have to be him. So on the night I lost my virginity we were kissing on my bed and partaking in sexual acts when he asked me if I wanted to have sex. I felt ready and I wanted to so I said yes. He got a condom and put it on because we both didn't want to risk anything. He told me that if I wanted him to stop I must tell him and he will. I
The actual act was nowhere near as bad as I expected. I didn't bleed or experience a blinding stab of pain. He was very slow and rather than just pushing into me hard and fast, he took his time making sure I got used to his penis being inside me while repeatedly asking me if I was okay or wanted him to stop. I told him no and I only felt slightly uncomfortable at first but then when he had fully entered me it felt amazing. He was slow and sensual and afterwards we just lay on my bed and spoke. I'm happy I lost my virginity to him because he is a good friend to me and he does love me. The fact that he respected me enough to wait for when I was ready told me a lot about him and that makes me pleased I lost it to him.
However to end this on an enriching and educational topic I feel that this needs to be said: Do NOT have sex if you are not ready especially if you are not of the legal age limit. There is an age limit for a reason and you can not see the importance of that decision until later in life. Last, make sure the person you lose your virginity respects you and realises it's importance. Be safe, be ready and do not be afraid to say NO!
AVERT says: Making choices about sex can be difficult, but it is important to do what you feel comfortable with. Take a look at our Am I Ready for Sex? page for more information.