Jane

Well I'm 14 years of age and so far i have only had 2 sex-ed lessons. I go to an all girls school. And my first sex -ed lesson was when i was in grade 5 and everyone put up a fuss, the parents, and us children, the older grades had told us these frightening stories, and the teachers told us we could leave the lesson at anytimes due to complaints. So naturally everyone left, and we never got in trouble. And all the lesson was about puberty.

My parents had been pretty good. At around age 10, when I started watching M rated stuff, I had a lot of questions and my mum was willing to answer them. At times now when I ask a question she acts shocked about how I know a word or something, but she is still willing to answer.

My second sex-ed lesson was last year in grade 9. And the stuff they covered was basically all the stuff our bodies had been through. They also went into great detail about STD's (STI's) but not many people actually knew what it was, and how you caught them, and the teachers refused to answer any questions about anything else, so everyone sat there confused and then everyone started making stuff up.

Not many people in my grade know stuff about safe sex, and many people have done sexual acts, as if its an everyday act and people should be doing, and if their not, they literally outcast them. And in fact one of my mutual friends is now pregnant, and is being treated for HIV.

I seriously think the schools should be teaching us about sex, and puberty, because some kids are really deprived from this information, and seriously need to be taught.

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Vanessa

Hello my name is Vanessa and im seventeen years old. At school I first talked about sex and puberty when I was ten we were all shown a very old videotape of a man and woman walking about naked. It was a pointless video to watch and I don't think it taught me anything nor my classmates.

I had an older sister so I learnt most of the puberty stuff from her and my mother also told me what happens etc. I can't recall however her telling me to practice safe sex though e.g. condoms, properly because she was older then most mothers and I was young at the time maybe she thought I didn’t need to no all that just yet.

I was told however that when I started my period I would be put on the pill, which happened. And my dad gave me some good advice which I do think helped he told me "Boys are only after one thing and that is to get into you're pants"

Its funny looking back but he was right that is what most boys want especially at that age. And the other thing that I supposed stopped me from sleeping around without anything was his threat that if I came back pregnant I would be on my own. It sounds harsh but I don't think he would of stuck to it but that threat worked and I always made sure I was careful.

My dad would always check up on us about where we were going and who with so I guess that is the reason im not pregnant to this day because I was taught not to let my parents down and have respect for myself by not sleeping about.

I think because my dad spoke to me I listened more as he was talking from a teenage boy point of view and knew what they would be thinking.
School did give some more talks when I was fourteen about what to use like condoms etc but I think its better coming from you're parents at school people tend to mess around especially in front of their mates.

So overall I was pretty lucky to have my parents I think nowadays people need to speak to their children more and know where they are going and what they are doing. Make sure their girls are on the pill or something send there boys out with condoms and maybe even let them meet some teenagers that have got STI s or pregnant so they know the danger of unprotected sex.

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Delilah

Hi! my name is Delilah and I am 14 years old. My parents started telling me about sex when i was 9 and every so often they would add a little bit as I got older, and when I was 13 I decided that it sounded like fun an I wanted to give it a try, so i asked my friend Max and he was interested too. So we did it one evening when my parents weren't home, it was fantastic, my parents had told me it wasn't great the first time, but i guess everyone is different, it hurt a little at first but then it got really good. We used a condom, but I got pregnant anyway. I now have 2 little girls named Colleen and Mylene. Max and I are still together, our parents are Catholic so they threw us out of their houses, we moved into a council house in an estate, it isn't the best place to raise children but we are managing I am staying in school and Max is going part time to school. Neither of us got any sex ed. in school and I think that is the reason I got pregnant, even though my parents taught me a lot. I don't talk to my parents but Max's parents occasionally talk to us and send money to us each month, which I am very grateful for. Max and I believe we are meant for each other and when we are 18 we will marry, I am on the pill and we use a condom now when we have sex. I regret having sex at such a young age but I don't regret having our girls.

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Christine

O.K, I feel that there are some things that need to be said before people get the wrong idea. Im 16 years old, and let me tell you to, im a mom to a 1year old baby boy. i admit what i did was wrong (except for having my child). But why didn't i realize this sooner, it was because i didn’t know about sex until I was 13, and I lost my virginity at age 12. i have a strong feeling that all children should learn and have a sex education between the ages of 11-13years. With having sex education involved teens will soon relize the cause of their life could be at risk. Parents are scared to tell their teens, let me say, they shouldn't. if they were true parents, they teach their children about sex, and fight about having sex education in school.
                   

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Anon

 I am 17 years old since November 2009. My school didnt provide me with any type of sex ed from K - 10th. My parents had me calling the vaginia a "what's it" until i was 14 and a boy who i was with told me that isnt what its called.

I think its pathetic schools don't provide the common sense, at least, that many children are lacking.

At 15 years old I got pregnant I now have a ten month old daughter who I love more than anything in this world. She is not a mistake nor a regret, she is my world. I no longer go out, I do not get free time, I dont relax, and I am definatly not healthy from all this stress. I recieved my drivers license about a year ago now, I am not like every other teenager cruising around doing what ever they want enjoying the freedom, I drive to daycare, school, work, and home. I don't waste anytime or have spare time since my life is dedicated to her. I work 2 jobs 5 or 6 days a week trying to support us.

Her father is involved, but also has 2 other children (we went to the same high school he graduated 2 years before me and also was not educated on sex). We are together and he works as much as possiable. Yet still it is hard to live off of hardly anything. We do not live off welfare or collect any type of money from others taxs. It was our decision to have this baby we will provide for her.

She has everything she needs, diapers, formula, toys, babyfood, lots of clothes, nice things a beautiful crib, but we as parents gave up all the things we wanted and some things that we needed so she could have what ever child deserves. and i am not looking for a medle most parents give up many things for their children. All I am trying to get across is babies are dependent on you. You are no longer a child if you need to raise one.  I love my life, but I gave my childhood so my daughter could be raised correctly. If I had one wish it would be for my school to have properly educated me and all my classmates about sex, and contraceptives.  

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Wednesday

This school year I was given a on going project, were we go out in the community and try to fix things that are wrong. I choose to educate more teens about sex, not just the same things we've always heard but more. All my schooling is taught around the FCAT and nothing else, most teens are completely blind about sex because of the education system. I for one want to help teens, children and even adults learn about sex. I'm 14 and it may seem like I know nothing but I know enough to realize that my school isn't teaching me want I need to know. For the past few hours, of researching, I learned more about sex then I ever had in school.

My parents told me about sex when I was young and if I had any question they answered them with ease. What I find most upsetting is that most parents choose not to tell their kids anything and expect them to not have sex. I want to change the education system, when it comes to educating teens and kids about sex. I hope my plan works so maybe the rates of STD infections can go down in the future. I want to change the world and I hope this my start of doing that.

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Kysis

All my life, I have been more prepared than anyone in my grade about sex. Since I first learned to read in grade 1, my mom kept buying me books each year about the female body and the changes that would occur as I grew. While most girls freak the first time they have their period, for me it was more like; "Oh, okay. whatever." I was totally cool with it. I didn't freak out and never do.

Sex ed in school is, unfortunately, dismal. We pretty much learn a couple things, then its just the same things repeated each year. My last course was in grade 10, and our teacher took us to the computer room, gave us a sheet of paper, then we just went though an animated video by ourselves. hardly informative.

When my brother learned to read, she got him books as well. She has always wanted us to be weary of the dangers we could face. I'm 19 and I still haven't even gone on one date. Quite frankly, i don't care. I was horrified when in grade seven (I went to an all girl's school), on valentine's day, we were asked to write the name of our boyfriend on the chalk board. They got to me and my reaction was thus; 'Are you our of your f****ing minds?! Who the hell is dating at this age?!"

It horrify me to hear that kids in elementary are dating. It's just too young! you wonder why teens always get into trouble, its because of how unprepared and so not ready they are when dating. I\'d rather wait until I meet someone I know will not pressure me into sex, and wants to take their time, ready when i am.

Recently I was hit hard with an example of lack of knowledge. My cousin is 11, and she hasn't learned a single thing about he female body going through puberty, or STD's, nothing. She didn't even know what puberty was. She was asking a question about periods i think, and worded it so badly that she and my mom had a talk about puberty for almost three hours. Is that we are facing this new age? Teenagers getting pregnant because of the lack of safe sex education, kids frightened by the changes their body is going through, because not even their teachers or parents have bothered to give them the understanding they need?

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Mish

I started sex ed (officially) in about 4th grade and that was just telling us the basics about body parts. This continued up to seventh grade. There was non after that.

The guidance counsellor was always open however, to questions and there were loads of brochures to read.

My informal sex-ed started when I was still pretty young, about 6 or 7yrs. How? My friend across the fence had much older siblings who use to view pornography when the parents were out. We were not allowed to view of course, but we always peeked. That continued with me reading hard-core porn magazines from another neighbour when he was out. My family had keys to his house and i would sneek out to go read to my heart\'s content. This went on till I was about 12 or so. My parents have never spoken to me about sex or my body.

All in all, I basically learned all the names for a penis and vagina, different names for sex, sex positions and different sexual orientations - bi, gay, straight.

I learned about STD\'s/STI\'s/HIV/AIDS from brochures I\'ve picked up from all over, listening to radio programs, from the internet and taking part in a HIV/AIDS peer training and teaching program.

I am 21yrs old and still a vrigin. I just never had the interest i guess to actually indulge in the act, even though I\'m now with my second boyfriend.

I believe children should be spoken WITH (and not to) about their bodies, the changes that take place in it. This may not prevent kids experimenting but they will sure be making informed decisions and that is important.  This should not be the solemn responsibility of the parents but schools as well albeit the learning should start at home.

Sex is more than physical and kids should learn this from early and not just see it as another thing that they do like sleeping and eating. 

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Mikhail

I'm 13 and recently started puberty I learnt alot of the stuff at an early age but just about nothing through actual sex ed which I often find the teachers are soooooo guarded! Also at this point I've had a few gf's and a few break ups and think that it would do teens a world of good if they covered alot more on the emotional side as it can be a bit rocky at first.
Best wishs Mikhail (yes I'm not English)

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Meghan

Hello. My name is Meghan and I will soon turn 14 in July. I have had about 3 Sex Ed courses in my life time, and "the sex talk" with my mother once. My parents are open to all of my questions and informed me at the age of 10 about puberty, condoms/safe sex, abstinence, and such. And since then, they have been willing to talk about it freely whenever I had questions about anything.

Yet, before adults introduced me too it, I had already pieced together everything they told me and more. I was about 8 when I stumbled upon an adult website. At that time- I spent hours searching and later fully realized what sex was. You could say I was ahead of everyone else my age, and some kids that were even older than me. I felt proud, yet told know one of what I had discovered.

The 3 Sex Ed courses I have had (provided by my elementary school) were all about one week long. They started when I was about 10 (the same age I got "the sex talk"). Every day, for about 1 hour, the nurse would touch on different subjects. Such as intercourse, STDs, and then a review of puberty (which I was well aware of since I had gotten my period at the age of 12 and my breasts also developed early). I found everything they said to be very un-interesting, since I had already gone through and known these things for quite some time. Except for STDs, which my mom had not touched on.

In conclusion, I believe Sex Education classes are needed for kids to develop healthy. Some kids I know at my age still dont know much about sex and such. Most are pretty confused about their bodies, unaware of the bad things that can happen during sex (pregnancies, diseases, etc.), and still curious, but afraid to go to their parents for answers.

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Lydia

I go to a french public high school in Ontario, Canada. I think it's the best school in the province, if not the country. It's my first year there, and i'm just starting to take sex ed. I'm currently 14.

I started taking sex ed classes in grade 5 (in elementary) so I've learnt a lot over the past few years. I think every school should start sex ed at young ages so that kids know about the consequences, preventions and most of all about puberty simply because everyone goes through it no matter what. And if you learn about it at a young age, you'll know what will happen and therefore know how to deal with the situation, mostly for girls and their menstruational cycle. So far this year I've learnt all about different infections (STDs/STIs), preventions of getting pregnant and/or getting a serious infection, etc.

Some parents dont know how important it is to tell their kids about these things and it shouldnt be embarrassing to talk about it. It's not only the school's responsibility to teach the students something about sex. Most kids hear things about it from friends but they dont actually know if it's true or just a myth. But I definately think that kids should in fact know about sex and the risks that come along with it. They should be willing to talk about it with their parents, or an adult they trust.

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Gemma

I'm an 18-year-old atheist from England.

I think what people who believe that ignoring social problems will make them go away forget is that you don't have to understand sex to want it - or to have it. I agree that sex ed at school often sends out
confusing messages, but that's only because teachers are so frightened of irate parents trying to blame them for their child's mistakes. If a young person winds up pregnant or with an STD, then trying to use
public education as a scapegoat to escape their guilt does nothing to help the child.

Plenty of parents complain that they feel disconnected from their teenagers, that they "won't talk to them". Surely it's better young people learn from a responsible adult than some trial-and-error approach. I am jealous of those people who can talk to their parents about sex, and any other problems - that's good parenting. But for people like me, whose parents refused to talk to them, sex ed at school may be the only shot they get.

I learnt what sex was when I was 7 years old - by looking up nearly every related word in a dictionary. I think that's a sad way to learn about it; you can hardly consider that a well-rounded education. My parents are the sorts who refused to talk to me about the changes my body was going through because I was "too young to know about that yet". Which was clearly ridiculous. I was 12 when I got my first bra fitted, and I turned out to be a B-cup already. When my first period started, I was too afraid to tell my mum because for some reason I thought she would be cross with me. I coped for two before I ran out of supplies my school had given me and had to tell her - she showed me where the sanitary towels were and that was that. My body was changing too fast for their narrow minds to accept, so I simply had to cope by myself.

As for my sex ed from school, it was far from bad, despite being totally mechanical. It was very focussed on the actual physical act and nothing else. If you want to stop kids from having sex, I think a
holistic approach is needed, encompassing the emotional side of things. Not just the "this bit goes here". I know plenty of people who lost their virginity young (I mean, between 12 and 14 sort of age) and they
regretted not their age, neither the experience itself, nor the place, or anything - just the person they did it with.

Individual maturity should be valued more than age. I'm 18 - old enough to have sex legally - and I haven't, because I’m not in love with anyone. If I’d felt ready at 16, I would have done it. So long as you wake up the next morning and roll over to look at your partner and smile, then I reckon that's a
pretty good sign you made the right decision. A piece of paper and a band on gold guarantee very little as regards safe sex.

That's something I’ll remember about my sex ed teacher at school - she said, "Anyone can have sex, that bit is easy. Rabbits don't even notice it happening. Doing it right is what is difficult." Those three
sentences made me think more about sex than my mother, who calmly informed me that virgin marriages are the best kind. This coming from the woman who wouldn't talk to me for two days after I found the pill lying around on the side board - as though it was my fault she was sexually active.

I think sex is part of a healthy life, and a healthy fulfilling relationship with someone worthwhile. Sex education should, without any doubt in the world, be taught in schools. If we don't, we're headed
toward the dilemma Africa is facing with AIDs - ignoring Roman Catholic abstinence nonsense, and having unprotected sex.

It should be normal to discuss sex. And parents are free to have their input at home, as much as they choose. But, for crying out loud - ignoring problems do not make them go away, and people who are too weak to discuss such important lessons with their children, who are too immature to accept their children are growing up - people who run away from reality, these are the sort of people who shouldn't be having children anyway. Teach young people to responsible for themselves, and parents won't have to wrap them up in cotton wool in the first place.

To borrow a phrase from Francis Bacon: Knowledge is power.

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Annette

Hi, My name's Annette I'm 21 and I live in Australia.

I had already pieced together most of the "sex talk" before I was eight. When I was six, me and my friend used to put socks down out undies and hump each other before we even knew what we were doing. my first educational experience was at a drive-in one evening with the family when I decided to go wonder off and see what was screening on the opposite side to our screen. This was a revolutionary moment for me. The movie was Lightning Jack - A comedy about two outlaws who just wanted to be wanted. There was some scene involving a mute black man, a sexually confident saloon girl and a saddle. I haven't watched the film since so my memory is most likely a bit blurry. But that pretty much gave me the information I needed to start piecing things together. I came to the conclusion that babies were made from a man's sweat when he has an intense need to hold a woman.

I've been pretty sexually aware ever since. So before knowing anything about erect penises and seamen and intercourse, I learned the key element behind it all. The want for another body/lust. My first sex-ed class was when I was 9, and it was purely puberty based, and well done. I think it's important for children to be taught sex-ed at school because not all parents are up for the job, and not all children are willing to be that open about their sexuality to their parents. We has sex-ed classes every year from what I can remember.  We had a box where we could leave anonymous questions for them to be answered the the next class. I remember asking the teacher if we could get pregnant while on our period. That seemed to baffle her a bit coming from a 10 year old.

I didn't actually go through any sexual development until I was 12, and by then I'd been told all about different sanitary items, with and without wings! light vs. heavy etc etc. Out classes by the age of 12 were pretty much confirming knowledge about sexual development, and informing us about sexual intercourse in more detail. Previous years were pretty much "this goes in here, seamen comes out, travels along here meets the egg and BABY". In High school the pubescent education was over. It was from then on more like a sexually orientated biology lesson. Learning what develops at each stage of pregnancy. Shown different contraception methods, shown how to put condoms on, learned all the statistics, all about when people ovulate, hormone levels for both sexes. All in all a pretty good education.

Just recently I watched a television presentation called "Texas teenage virgins" and it scared the crap out of me! Here I am coming from a really well informed perspective and hearing how some of the kids weren't taught anything about sexual intercourse because abstinence is the best option. It's impossible to argue with that, but every body has hormones therefore everybody is susceptible to having sex so everyone should be educated on what they can arm them with to prevent things like STDs and pregnancy when abstinence fails. I'm now really keen to become a sex-Ed teacher. I believe there's a few gaps in our sexual education I could fix as well.

From my experience we're more likely to have sex when it's late at night or you're alone with someone of your sexual preference or you've been drinking or You've been watching a raunchy movie together or it's dark. Things easily avoided if you don't want to have sex. My life would have a been a bit less eventful if I didn't do a lot of those things.

But thanks to my education, I've never done anything as a teen I've regretted.

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Daniel

I am 22 years old and I've had 2 sex-ed classes.

The first was in Bettendorf, Iowa and I was in 6th grade.  I had moved there during my 5th grade year.  The class I had was a comprehensive sex-ed class.  I took it during the 2nd semester of that year.  There are many things to say about this especially since I have a near-photographic memory.

Looking back, this class was a disservice for me.  Long story short, it was too intense and I was not ready for such detailed information.  At the end of the course I believe that I was addicted to sex and sexual thought.

The biggest reason why this class had such a negative impact on me could be pinned on one thing: posters.  Specifically, posters of male and female genitalia.  They were displayed on the wall of the classroom and I remember very clearly that I stared at the female one every day (I'm a guy if you haven't figured it out yet).  This was the equivalent of looking at pornography everyday.  Since guys are very easily visually stimulated in the 6th grade it's no wonder I turned out the way I did.

In my seventh grade year I moved to Sergeant Bluff, Iowa.  I had a sex-ed course in the last part of my 8th grade year.  This course was an abstinence-only class.  Taking sex-ed the second time around was very different.  I actually learned some things!  It was a quarter long and they concentrated on the different stages of life rather than an intense focus on puberty like the first class did.

In both situations my parents did not talk to me beforehand at all.  When they signed the permission slip for my 6th grade year all they told me was, "You're going to be learning about how babies are made" and that was it.

Back then I was not comfortable with myself as a sexual being (it's ironic that most parents fear that of their child).  In my house sex was a taboo.  You just didn't talk about it.  As a result I had no one to talk to when it came to my sexual or otherwise personal feelings.

To this day I despise them for not talking to me, even though I already knew about it.  In high school my dad wanted me to see a therapist because of all the moving we've done (I've moved 7 times at this point) and also because of the fact that we weren't very close as a family.  Many subjects were talked about but there was one that I kept coming back to and it was sexualality.

To come to the current day, I have thought a lot about this subject and have come to a conclusion.  First, be open with your children about "personal" body parts when they're in grade school.  Don't make sex or other related topics a taboo.  Second, tell them about puberty before it happens (in other words before 5th or 6th grade).  You don't have to talk about sex then but at least tell them what's going to happen (especially for girls).  Third, the sex talk should take place between 5th grade and 8th grade.  The easiest time would be when you tell them about puberty or sometime soon after that.  From there keep the discussion open and encourage then to talk about it with yourself.

As for sex-ed classes, don't take a comprehensive course.  Just don't.  Abstinence is okay but comprehensive especially at 6th grade is way too much for children.

Best wished,

Daniel

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Louise

My name is Louise and i currently taking work placement as a social work student at a primary school. after reading all these entires i have strongly agreed with some people.

At this moment in time, this school is trying to educate their students about 'themselves'... but becuase of the policies of the Catholic Education Office, certain topics are not allowed to be spoken about in class. This is ridiculous... the grade 5/6's are embarking on the transition into high school and they are going into a new world without knowing the basics of 'sex'.

i feel sorry for these children as they will be totally shocked once they finally learn about 'sex'. I feel that the school and the Catholic system is trying to hide the children away from the truths of our society, that they are trying to protect these children from the horrors of the real world.

Sex education in schools is a must! i can only imagine what these kids are going to grow up learning and what they learn... how on earth it will affect them...

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