James

I guess I've been pretty much bisexual my whole life now. There was a part of me that always knew that I was. From checking out girls at the gym to staring at guys in the locker room. I've been bullied, harassed, and picked on all my whole life just because the way I talk, move my hand sometimes, and even for just liking musical theatre. It's ridiculous to think that so many people could hate for not being straight or "like everybody else." It hurt to know that if you come out that everyone might or might not like you for who you are. Being gay or bisexual has nothing to do with your personality at all, but people don't see that. I know I'm not the only one who is living like this and I know people have it worse out in the world but you just can't help but to just think why am I like this, how are my parents and people going to react, and will I ever meet someone like me?

My first gay friend was open and didn't care what people thought. If you gave him crap, he'd give crap right back. He got kicked out in first grade along with his brother who was in sixth at the time and had to live on their own for a while until they were taken in to an adoption center. He asked me out and I said no. Secretly I kinda liked him but I had a girlfriend at the time who I also cared about and didn't want to cheat on her. We eventually broke up and just became friends. Another guy at my school told me he was gay, he was open about it too. And one day i asked why he never changed in the locker room where everyone else does and he told me about his past experiences. People would beat him, laugh at him, get his close or even him and put them in the toilet and many more horrible things. His parents just founds out about him and kicked him out. Now he lives with grandma in another state. I just barely started coming out in the fall of 2008 to my friends at school and still haven't come out to my parents yet. It's difficult living like an alien in someone else body pretending to be a son or a student at school without being true to your self.

Even though people ask I just deny it and I regret it. I believe I will feel the right time when it comes and that I'll be facing a whole lot of ugly coming towards me when I do, but at least I can be true about it. Lately I've learned to just let things slide off my shoulder and just shrug it off. It's annoying and a pain to deal with it but it's a part of who I am and I can't change that.  

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Sam

Last year I fully came out to everyone including my best friend and my parents that I was Bi-sexual. It had been in my mind ever since I started highschool because when I was younger I always looked at guys in the same way I saw girls, attractive. I decided to track down an old friend who I had lost contact with so I added him on bebo. After having a look at his profile I was pretty damn sure he was gay or bi so one day on msn I asked him and he said he was really confused which sort of confirmed it for me.

Soon after we started texting each other flirty things and my feelings started to grow for him. We had planned to fool around one day when my parents weren't home and I said to him I couldn't wait to kiss him. He told me he had never kissed anyone and that he was really nervous about it so I said I would teach him. At this stage I wanted to be with him and couldn't stop thinking about him but everytime I asked him out he was never sure of what he wanted.

So one night at a park close to where he and I lived we met up so I could teach him. It took about half an hour for us both to work the guts to finally kiss. It was incredibly romantic. As I left him smiling he text me and said that after we kissed he saw me as more than a friend and now as a boyfriend. I felt like crying because I wanted to hear that ever since my feelings grew for him. We went out for about two months but decided to leave it at where it was because of my studies. Now I am more confident and comfortable with my sexuality than ever.

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Artu

hi! my name is artu and am a 17 year old guy. I just came out to my parents.

I never had a good relationship with my dad but with my mom is the opposite I love my mom so i had to tell them they always ask if I had a girlfriend and all the crap so one day my mom ask me if I like this girl name jessica and I told her no but she couldn’t let it go so she came with me to my room and she started to ask me questions and then my dad came in so my ask do you like girls or do you like guys. And I didn’t know what to say so I told them I don’t. Then she said you don’t like guys and I told her no I like guys I just don’t like girls.

So my mom and dad started crying and so did I and they ask if I wasn’t bi so I told them NO. So my dad for the first time since I can remember he told me he loved me and that he accepted me any way I was and then he hug me(first time he ever did that to) so I couldn’t stop crying.

So whats with my life now its been 2 moths since I told my parents that am gay? I haven’t told them that I had sex with a guy but I will one of these days. We haven’t told my brother that am gay because we don’t know how hes going to take it since he thinks that been gay is wrong but he is only 13 so we are trying to hive him some time and maybe next year we will tell him.

So I always plan to tell my parents that am gay but you know never plan anything like this you never know when you are just going to say it.

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Dylan

I guess I've always known I was gay. When I was six or seven, I did the usual experimenting with other boys of the age. But when I was in 4th grade, I started to think of other boys differently.

I didn't have feeling for girls other than close friends, but whenever I saw a cute guy, I would feel extremely attracted to them.

In 6th grade me and my best friend, Jake, went on a spring break trip to Colorado with his mom, and while we were in the back of his car, we started to feel around. We both knew the other jerked off, and we have watched porn with each-other, but up until that point, that was it. On that day we started to feel around, he touched my dick, and I touched his. We were both early bloomers, and we both had a big bush of pubes.

At the hotel we stayed at, we spent a lot of our time in the hot tube, and we started to do more. We jerked each-other off, and blew each-other.

For the next couple of years, we would fool around. I came to accept myself for who I was, but he was a popular jock, and he just couldn't accept.

Our freshmen year, I came out to my best friend. She said she thought I was gay, and she still loved me like a brother. I also told most of my close friends about me, and about me and Jake, and soon he found out, and we got into a huge fight. We stopped talking for a long period of time.

We started to talk again, and during our current high school year (sophomore), the word went around my school that I was gay. Nothing went around about me and Jake, but he's stood up for me to his jock friends.

I'm currently in my sophomore year in High school, and about to come out to my parents.

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Bryan

   I think that these days we are finally starting to get past the gay myth. That if you do anything with another guy, or feel any sort of same-sex attraction, that automatically makes you gay, or that you want to be that way with all guys in general. Or, that you're bisexual, meaning that you have an equal and regular attraction to both genders.  Or that somehow you just don't realize that you're gay or that you are afraid to admit it. For the vast majority of guys nothing could be farther from the truth.

These days it's finally starting to become somewhat socially acceptable for two guys to be more personal in their friendships without having to worry about all of that gay stuff. It's even becoming sort of trendy.

   About a year ago a friend and I, we're both sixteen, were feeling kind of chummy with each other. We were kind of self-conscious and pretty shy about it. All we were doing was sitting there with an arm around each other's shoulder. But it felt good, kind of bold and daring I guess, and it was agreeable to both of us. We sort of figured that it was not like anybody had to know if we felt like being friendly like that with each other. We got sort of brave about it, and tried a kiss. It was really cool being able to do that together as boys, and without thinking that we were gay or trying to be.

    After that, we started having this boy-friendly relationship that was great. We were discrete about it because we figured that we knew what other people would think, and undoubtedly our parents. For us it was just pleasing all-male in a way that we could both appreciate and understand, and kind of like taking a vacation from girls, and it was quite emotionally-rewarding to be that open and honest with another guy. I think that we were both surprised by easy that was to enjoy, and we  started to have these friendly-romantic moments of just being together, making out, and, yes, even having some sex. It has been this way for us for this whole past year, and we have not regretted one single moment of the time we have spent together. I think that there will be a time when guys can be more open about this without it being a big deal.

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Fatih

'Can a Turk be a gay? 'That's a question asking to the public in my country.That's a question about me. Because I'm a Turk and I'm a gay.

I know that I was gay since I was born. It was only a part of me, hiding and a silent part.
When I was in Qur'an Course in a mosque everyone says: 'Homosexual demons are invading the world.This is the doomsday!'

And so I hate homosexuality.It was all a demon in your soul and must be punished at once.Everyday I went the mosque and prayed God to become a normal and rescue myself from this devil.
What happened then? I continue living with the devil.I can only forget the devil when I was reading a book. So I become a wormbook. But the books doesn't only help me to forget the devil. It also expands my vision. My perspective to the life. I see homosexuality exists before I was born. It really shocked me(Guess how we not acknowledged are). It's just always hiding in a place of our lives.I wanna show people this,the truth.They of course don't wanna understand me. When I say I was a gay to my parents, I was immediately send a psychologist to become a normal. And of course this doesn't change anything too. And will not.

Things not good here.Some people even don't know what a 'gay' means. When you say you're a gay they only laugh at you or ignore you.My mum's still silently crying why she's punished like this. Because people are obsessed with sex. If you don't have a boy or girlfriend you cant exist in world. That's the perceptivity and that's the matter. I'm not.

And it's the matter of being a human. I also told my best friend and she only thanked me for sharing this.

I'm 16 now and I don't give up my struggle and will not. I see many people in the streets. They're desperate, breathing but not living, they're here but not with themselves. If you really wanna change your life only YOU can do it. I learn this from life. Be always happy because you worth it. And sorry for disgusting English:)

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Drew

There have been countless stories that have been written on blogs, emails, novels, MySpace and even newspapers about gay men and their life stories. But the truth is that everyone’s view is different on the gay subject.

You probably live your life stressed out about if you should come out of the closet or not? Constantly worried about how your friends and family will react if you tell them your "big secret". It has probably driven you to the point where it constantly crosses your mind to the point of obsession and if it hasn't its going too soon trust me.

Heck, you’re probably one of those boys who sit in the locker room and stares at all the other guys changing back into the regular clothing as their hot sweaty muscular bodies glassine taunting you without notice.

Or perhaps your that guy at work who sits there in his office day dreaming about other men in your workforce or searching the internet for a dirty picture that you hope to god is not being monitored by some dorky computer science drop out in the basement of your building.

Or perhaps you’re the football jock, the alpha male who everyone expects to be straight but really isn’t.

If that is not a good depiction of who you are today then simply stop reading this article right now. I am serious close the window, drop the paper and move on with your life.

But if one of those above descriptions describes you perfectly then remember this simple fact. Being gay is just a small part of who we are. It does not define you’re complete character; it is simply a small characteristic of who you are.

No you do not have to be girly to be gay.
No you don’t have to like only boys to be gay.
No you don’t have to be a fashion queen to like other men.
And finally no you’re not lesser then all the other heterosexuals around you

Sure being gay is difficult, heck its hell on earth! But that does not change the fact that you are a homosexual.

Yes there is something wrong with you in comparison to the norm.
Yes your parents might through you out the house when you tell them.
Yes you are going to stick out for the rest of your life.
Yes you might have to break up with your girlfriend.
Yes you might lose your job.
Yes you might not have children one day.

But that’s the way life work. We all have are insecurities and we all have a problems. You think every straight person has a wonderful life, guess again!

You goal in life should be to be happy. Being gay does have its limitation but if being gay is part of who you are, no matter how small, it is not worth the sacrifice. You only have around 80 to 100 years of life in this world, don’t waste it on what the human race, which is already dysfunctional if you haven’t noticed, tell you what to do.

Life’s too short; you’re never going to find the answer that big “what if!” unless you go out on a limb and make it happen. Yes the limb might break and everything will head down hill, but isn’t that no better than just lying to yourself all the time.

Stop questioning and trying to figure everything out in your head, life is full of risks, you got to grab it by the balls and experiment with it. It’s not going to be easy trust me it’s not. But it’s all going to come out at some point so why make yourself suffer for another second? Sees control, make the change and start living now! 

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Jonathan

My name is Jonathan and I am 21 years old. I suppose I knew that I was gay back in the fourth grade. I wasn't sure as to how to express what I was feeling to my family to I kept it quiet. My mother was raised a 7th day adventist so I knew the story and how to play the game so I was able to hide my homosexuality as best as I could. I pretended to be straight for the next 11 years. This was, however, more than a personal hell. I felt as though I was drowning under the pressure of keeping a secret this big for so long. In high school, keeping up the ruse of being straight was a bit easier than I thought. I spent my time playing card games and so keeping myself alienated from the majority of the kids. I also was quite overweight from worrying and stressing over keeping myself quiet. I tried to tell my parents in my junior year of high school when I went on a cruise with them. It seemed like a great opportunity but when the right time came all I got was a stomach ache and made them think I was just sick.

I came out first to my friend Nathan of 5 years back in March of 2009. I was hesitant at first and wanted to tell him so much earlier because I had a crush on him back in High School and he was one of those typical people who would act homophobic if a guy said the wrong thing or spoke to him with a lisp/acted overly friendly. He would also point out girls or talk about them when I was out driving with him so I figure he might have caught on so I had to turn up my disguise a notch. I waited up for him after my parents had gone to sleep for him to get home from work (he lived with us at this time because his parents had booted him out of their house). When he got home I sat him down and asked him "No matter what happens, we will always be friends. Right?" At this point he looked rather confused and nervously said "Yeah. Of course." I started to cry a bit because I was afraid that he would hit me or just out of the house and never speak to me again. I finally looked at him and said that "I have been hiding something from you since the moment I met you." There was a short pause and he began looking more and more confused. "I\'m gay." I told him finally. He sat back in his chair and seemed ok with it after that which surprised the hell out of me.

After I thought of him as my 'safety net' of sorts and would support me through this. The next day I began getting a serious upset stomach because I knew I would have to tell my parents if I wanted to be myself. I lied down on the couch and he came out to the living room and sat down and asked "What are you thinking about? " I told him "I have to tell my parents but I'm afraid of what will happen. I don't want my relationship with them to change too much. I'm afraid of the possibility of them disowning me. If I don\'t tell them it will pop out of me like an alien..." He said "You will have to tell them eventually. Best to get it out of the way. Either way I'm here and will support you. " I thanked him and said "I'll tell them tonight."

That night before they went to talk to my friend, I sat down in the living room and asked "Can you turn off the TV please?" They looked at me with smiles and asked "What's going on?" Just like with Nathan I started to get a knot in my throat and felt it hard to talk. I started off with "I've been hiding something from you for a few years now." Also just like Nathan they seemed confused and there was a longer pause with them. I looked and them both, knowing that I had tears starting to roll down my face I said "I'm gay." Surprisingly my dad took it rather well and said "Wow." My mom was obviously in shock and tried to hold back the emotional freight train that was headed my way. My mom, of course, asked "Are you sure?" I responded with a swift "Yes. I am."

I smiled and hugged them both. My dad then told me he had been a big supporter of Gay Rights groups for a few years prior. Also, knowing him, I’m sure he was quietly trying to think of one of his strange jokes to tell that would relate to the situation. Bless him though, he didn’t think of anything. After that It took a while for it to sink in so I waited to tell my two sisters. When I told my oldest sister and her husband they were cool with it. Same with my older sister. The middle one of us three told me one day that they had both already known and had talked about it on many occasions and she was also mad at me for waiting to tell her last. This made me feel great knowing that I would have someone else to talk to if I needed to.

It is now the day before Christmas, my first Christmas since coming out and I feel better than I ever have.

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Anon

Well, to be honest I don't know how to start this story. I guess the only place to start is probably the stereotypical spot to start. When did I first notice that I was gay.

Looking back now, I guess it had to have been in the 6th grade but who could tell then honestly. I was to busy jumping around the place that I didn't have time to worry about these things called relationships, but that Gym teacher was soo hot that i would have liked to butter his grill. Anyway, I did end up liking girls for a time being but it felt like something i had to do to please my family and my friends. I figured everyone else was doing it may as well do it too. More importantly I wanted to please my family. Not only was being gay hard for me to accept but being gay and Asian too.

What people don't know or don't see is that Asian families are tight and that for most of their lives that's all they know and want to protect. Coming out to their parents is rough because we already know the outcomes and it kills us to know the alternatives. It hurts me to know that I'll be shunned by my parents forever. Yeah, sure i may have a support group or great friends who care for me and support everything i do and am, but to hear those word "You are dead to me." will always hunt you, and our life you knew and grew up with is gone forever.

I stayed in the closet for a long time because i wasn't selfish. I cared what people thought about my family too much that I sacrificed my happiness to keep my family safe. To be in the closet for me was to sacrifice everything to insure everyone else' happiness. I truly haven't come out of the closet only because i feel that being gay is like being straight. No straight person i knew had to tell me he/she was straight. They just were. Being is the same. I shouldn't have to let the whole world know that I'm gay. Besides, who was to know what i do in bed with men anyways. But people do know that i am gay. I respect them enough to let them know that their brother is gay and that their friend is gay.

I'm 21 now, and i still haven't came out to my parents. Will i ever tell them. Probably not, but deep down i do. Honest to god i do. I want them to look me in the eyes and see who i am, but they do\'t deserve it. Call me selfish because i am.

I hope listening to this will give you all the courage that i didn't have to confront your demons. Remember that you are not only when you fight because I'll be there and everyone else who knows and share your pain will be there.
 

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Erik

I'm Erik, 20 years old, and I'm gay.  I have always lied to myself about the whole thing.  I avoided the issue, and almost constantly had a girlfriend in high school.  Can you say "Facade"? Senior year came and went, and I did nothing about my true feelings.  In college I met a ton of great people that I felt I could confide in.  Everyone was very accepting of me.  I even met a great guy who helped me along the way.  I felt great about myself.  I even told my mother, who was very understanding.  My father is still in the dark for now.  We have other things to sort out first.  



Then it all changed.  Circumstances arose that forced me to make a HUGE life choice.  I decided to join the U.S. Military.  Back into the closet I went.  Throughout training I snuck off to gay bars with another LGBT friend, hoping nobody I knew would spy me walking into the establishments.  Being back in the closet hurt so much, but it was something I had to do.  Almost 2 years went by in the military, and nothing seemed right.  I was getting into trouble, slacking on my studies, losing sleep.  I started drinking heavily and felt very alone.  I felt as though I had nobody to talk to because my job depended on me being quiet about my sexuality.

 One night something struck me.  I knew i couldn't hold back anymore.  I couldn't lie to myself or the people I cared about for one more second. 

 From that point on, whenever the situation was right, I told my buddies about who I really was.  Soon I told my co-workers, and even my direct leadership.  (She said to come to her about ANYTHING)  All have been very accepting of me.  I even got a few "Well DUH!" responses.  The moral of my story:  No matter what the consequence, be true to yourself.  If it means being persecuted, so be it.  If it means losing your job and changing your plans in life, so be it.  I am fully aware that if ONE wrong thing is said to the wrong person, I will be separated.  But it's worth it.  Never keep something that you should be proud of bottled up inside. 

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Justin Tano

Hi, I'm 19 and from canada.

I'll keep my story short, so here we go.

I only realized I was gay when I was in high-school. Before high-school I had girlfriends that I would do stuff with, I would get a hard on, and to this day i still don't understand my sexuality 100%. Coming out to my friends and family was easy, I have great accepting parents. My mom knew before I even told her. She has always sensed that I was different, and that even though I always had girls coming at me left and right, that I had no interest in them besides friendship, which was true. I realized I was gay in about grade 10, when I met this guy that I hung out with and ended up doing sexual things with. It was then when I knew for sure that I was more attracted to men than women. I decided from then on I would keep the fact that I was gay on the down low until high-school was over. I dint want to be rejected by friends and people just because of my sexuality. But then in grade 12 I met this amazing guy and decided I wanted to come out for him, and have a normal relation-ship, I dint want to hide my relationship.

I came out to my parents first, my mom said whatever makes me happy is okay and it would never change how she felt about me. She had gay and lesbian friends and never though of them differently. She\'s the only truly person I care about in my life, without my mom I would never survive in this world so knowing she was okay with my sexuality, I was ready to tell anyone, and quit denying that I was gay. The moment my mom knew I told my best friends and at that moment in my life I truly became and felt myself. It was great to know that I wasn't lying anymore and had nothing to hide. Pure freedom.  I ended up breaking up with my boyfriend, but still to this day thank him for helping and being on my side though my coming out.

But being gay in a small town has limits, I ended up dating the wrong guys that wanted the wrong things. I've been mentally abused and used. I realized that I would often lust over love my relationships and realized my mistakes, and work on finding the right guy. Someone that wants the same things in life, and just an all around great guy. I know live in a bigger city and still looking for love, and skipping out on the users and abusers. I find it hard to look past the lust, but I wish someday to meet Mr. perfect. With still the idea that someday maybe I might pass this faze, and realize that I can be sexually attracted to women. Ever since junior high I haven\'t dated a girl and hope that maybe if I give it a chance someday I can find more than just friendship. Some of the mistakes I've done and want you to learn from are, never let your partner choose to not use protection. If they truly love you and like you they will accept your choice for using protection. 

Justin Tano < not real name. btw.

Peace and Love

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Dylan

I am a 15 year boy and have just recently figured out that I am gay.
I accept the fact that I am.
I am a basketball player on varsity.
I have always known that I was bi.

I have forced myself to try and be straight but it never really worked for me.
No one really expects that I am because I dated a lot of girls in junior high.
My parents have always known since I was little from what they told me.
Mom and Step-Dad know, and are perfectly okay with it.
My sister knows too, she finds it a little awkward when I say guys are hot and what not, but other than that she thinks that its cool.

 My closest friends know my best friend knows. She is a girl. And I dated her for quite a bit.
When she found out that I cheated on her with two guys, she was furious.
She called me a hypocrit because the last time we dated she cheated on me, and I quit talking to her.
But she undetstood why and was okay with it after a day.

It is getting harder now that I am in highschool, and people are starting to think I am.
I would like to get out of this small town and into a larger city.
It would make it easier and I could probably could find someone to love.
But I am just going to have to wait till I get out of highschool for any of that.
But other than that everything is great and they all accept me.

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Adrian

Hi everyone. My name is Adrian, and I’m 17 years old.

First of all, I am neither just gay or just straight, I feel I have to consider myself closer to bisexual, for now.

Ever since I have been able to sense my own sexual feelings I have been attracted to members of both sexes. Perhaps even before puberty, I remember once, when I was in my first year of primary school, I started talking to a nice lad in my class during the day and later that evening I dreamt about swimming naked with him. Yeah, I know that may not be necessarily ‘gay’, but I’ll leave that to you to decide.

I was also quite strongly bullied all the way through my primary school life. Guess what the degrading word was? Yes, the word was ‘gay’. I was called that even before I knew what it meant. I still wonder whether the bullies picked up on any apparent feminine behaviour of mine, or whether it was just coincidence.

I often felt attracted to boys during changing time for P.E. (games). A quick glimpse of a male torso, shirtless of course, would leave me with a warm feeling pulsating round me. Meanwhile, I also liked the look of the girls in my school too. I couldn’t understand why there should be a difference in what someone could be attracted to, surely, as we’re all human, we can all like each other. Right? Wrong?

As time went on, and I moved into my later years of primary school certain words to do with sex began to float around. I couldn’t understand why members of both sexes would swear and behave all silly when talking about sexual words. To me, even now, I perceive sex as a natural and perfectly ordinary action, whoever it is between. I do not understand why it reduces some people to indecency and behaving on the whole rather crudely. I especially do not understand why it has to be between two members of the opposite sex.

Soon after beginning secondary school, I experienced even more sexual urges. I couldn’t believe my luck that all the lads got changed together in a relatively small room, and there were even more male bodies showing themselves, and some were getting nice and defined by this stage! And the girls in swimming classes, well…

The more I thought about what was right, the more confusion seemed to engulf me.

One day I decided that yes, I would come out to my parents that I liked both men and women. I must have been about 14, and just as I was approaching the room they were in I heard them talking. I stopped, and I listened. I heard them make fun of some gay TV star, and then one said something I have never forgotten.

“Ha, well at least none of my sons will turn out like him, all of my sons are perfectly straight thank you!”

I stopped in my tracks. I could not go forward. How could I possibly tell my parents of my true feelings after that homophobic outburst? I just couldn’t.

So, where am I now? At the moment I have not yet ‘come out’ to anybody, i.e. I allow others to believe that I am ‘straight’.  I do not have a boy or girlfriend, and I am still attracted to both sexes. As it happens, I feel that eventually I want to have a relationship with a female, have children and go down that route of sexual relationships.

My advice? Encourage people to believe that sexual attraction does not come in one form. I believe that there is no such thing as gay or straight or bisexual person (I only honestly call myself bisexual as that is the closest term describing what I do believe in). I feel that anyone can feel attraction to anyone else, and should be freely allowed to express that emotion.

Everybody is different, between us we have all sorts of varieties in our personalities. So why should we try and categorise our sexuality? We shouldn’t, categories have only been created by those who wish to be intolerant against the variety of human choice and the liberty of free will.

Make up your own mind when it comes to choosing what road you take, if you do not allow yourself to make the decision yourself, someone might make the wrong decision for you. ;)

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Siva

I live in South India most conservative society. The word homo or gay is considered a sin and infact few years before many did not even realise or know such things existed. When I was 19 years I was spending Friday evening at  my friends house. He was living with his mom (his dad had died). I had a crush on him but I never made it known to him. We were good friends. We lay in bed and were chatting till late night. Slowly the topic turned to sex. Then I stared to admire his shirt less body and touched his muscles. He was suprised and did not know how to react. I took the chance and touched his prick and he lay still I removed his clothes and enjoyed his body he was erect and came out. But lay still confused. I then came to my senses. Felt very bad and sorry that I had used my friendship to satisfy myself as I realised he was not interested in gay. I apologised a number of times and said our sex topics led me to act so. He did excuse my behaviour. But then I could never disclose to him that i am gay in case I lose his valuable friendship.I still have him as my friend. I have other gay friends which he does not know. Even today I feel happy that I managed to save my friendship.

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Chris

im 16 and still in highschool. im not going to write a  story about how i struggled to accept that i was gay,that has been said to death.                                                  

i could give up everything to change it but i just have to accept what i cant change. depression, loneliness...you name it, i have been through it all,i have even hated god for making me this way...did i mention i have tried to kill myself twice for it too.                                      

high school has been hell for me because thats when i really got to deal with who i am,i have tried to avoid it as much as possible but its always at the back of my head.that was until i met scott,one of the hottest guys in my grade,all the girls were crazy about him.                            

we were never really friends but he ended up sitting next to me in math class and we got quite close.one day during football practice he came to me when i was sitting in the stands watching the game,we talked about a lot of things and out of the blue he asked me if i was gay,at this point i had not told anyone about my orientation and for some reason i said yes,this guy that i just met months ago was the first person i came out to. i had friends whom i had known for years but couldnt tell them,i suppose the fact that i had a crush on him played a part.                        

what happened next was beyond my expectation,he had this plain reaction and told me he was gay too,i told him i didnt believe him,i mean he was the most straight guy you could find in school and could get any girl he wanted,to prove his point he just kissed me there and then,i had a couple of girlfriends before but there he was my first boyfriend and true love.we are still together today but most of all im just happy i have someone i can talk to and who understands me.                                  

i later told my best friend who is a girl,she was shocked but she is more like a sister to me and everything went back to normal.i havent told my parents,not until im able to take care of myself at least,i might just find myself in the streets,my dad and i never got along,we have always waited for the other to make a mistake so we can pick a fight.                     

after reading the stories here i came out to my closest friends and they were fine,i also hope no one will take their own life over this because we are all different in our own way,some just happen to be gay.

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