A selection of stories sent to AVERT from people who have a friend or relative living with HIV.
Avert.org also has stories of men, women and young people living with HIV, as well as stories from around the world.
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No name
My boyfriend has been having fever for almost a week. At first, the doctors suspected that it could be dengue virus. But there were no rashes.
They suggested doing a HIV test and today it came out positive. I know that my boyfriend regretted what he had done in the past and he now worries about the future.
But I will not leave him to face what lies ahead alone.
We will do it together.
Net
i just wanted to share my story after reading stories from ladies that test postive for hiv.
I am a true believer for god. i met this nice young man in very repectable loving in kind gentlemen. well, i always end up in bad relationship so i was waiting for my king. god had for me a great man. i mean a man every woman will love to have.
so i said this must me the guy. but i check with the lord in god show be me a sign not to. to sleep with him but i got vulberable in fall short of god's glory... for a second in had unprotected sex with this man. i felt something was wrong with him . i pray ask god to forgive in protect me. in show me .
about a week later .he just stated to me one day they having a aids clinic testing going on at the mall for free and he want to go get tested. so i look at him in said why u want to be test.he stated oh i just wanted to check myself. so i drove him there to be test and left him to be tested. not knowing he really wanted to be test because the ex-grilfrend stated to him in a phone call she will be leaving you will see.(me) .after he told her the relationship was over after she was trying to get him back.he not knowing she was postive with hiv. he belived something was wrong with her so he got tested.
It came back postive for hiv. he didint tell me, he had the clinic to call me because he didnt know how to break the news to me. My test came negative. he was happy for me. but for his test shock and hurt because hes not the type of man that run around with different woman. his exgrifriend exactly didint tell him and wanted him to give it to me. so they will be together.its sad to say how some people are. she has call his cell phone looking for him to come to be with him now that he know.she told him am goin to leave because i tested negative.am in the medical field of hospice.
i believe god allowed him to be in my life to help him .this share come to past.
sometimes i get misable because i wondering why it had to be this way i been marry my exhusband was a cheating with other womans. this man is very faithful to me.
But I am asking god to help me to endure in give me the wisdom in knowledge to stand by his side.i love him and care for him, i always pray for a good man in my life and that's what i got.i know he has a good heart. i will go get tested again in a couple of months . i believe god will carry me in him thru without a doubt.amen!!!! by god stripes god bless
Sandy
I have a wonderful, tall, handsome 22 year old son who has HIV. He
found out he had it after he committed a petty crime at 18 and was
sentenced to do time in a correctional facility. I have watched this
vivacious once full of the life human being be reduced to being scarred,
confused and so, so depressed. His 4 year relationship with a girl
who they share a 3 year old son has now come to an end, I think she was
afraid of catching HIV upon his release so she has taken their son and gone
on with her life. I have never seen him so low. As a
mother my heart breaks. It seems everyone has left him now and he is
totally alone to deal with all the prospects and stigma this disease
brings. I pray for him all day every day and for all the other young people
who are faced with this reality. I try so hard to keep him encouraged
and hopeful for the future, but after all I am Mom and he needs people his
own age that totally identify with his plight. If there is anyone out
there that would like to simply correspond, encourage, perhaps shed light
on things he does not know, talk freely about what he has and how a person
deals with it, I would be forever grateful. I love this young man he
is my son. I only want for him to be at peace, happy and have that
zest back for the future and its endless possibilities. He doesn't
see any right now. I know the mind is a powerful organ and
somehow someway I would like to see him get that fight back. That thought
of "maybe I am not alone" would be so helpful. Please help me to
help him. If you have the heart to simply write to someone who can use your
knowledge and friendship please contact me. Thank you for reading
this.
a hurt mom
I found out this week my son is HIV positive i haven't even gotten comfortable with the thought of him being gay my heart hurts so bad I'm 38 my son 23 I've been a mother since I was 15 we grew up together I'm trying to be strong for my son because he stressed he knew I was the emotional type and worry to much and I don't want him worrying about me this is to much to handle for a 23yr old it feels like I'm on an emotional roller coaster my heart is in mourning I've been questioning God loosening my faith I can't deal I wish it was me instead of him I love him so much and there's nothing I can do to save him its hard to stop crying I have other children I have to be strong for and take care of its hard when I can't focus this is taking over my mind
Alicia
My relationship with my father has always been strained because he was never there when I was growing up. Last summer I finally saw him only to discover he was HIV+.
I have spent so many years hating my father but I now I'm scared he's going to die
CC.
I have a story of the most loving brother-in-law. My brother-in-law was 11 when I met him. Silly. Funny. Always had to have the opposite opinion in politics and religion. Still, it is too late to help him. He never let us know how ill he was. He never asked for help. He was severely depressed because he felt he couldn't tell his mom and dad about who he was. I am so angry with his parents for not realizing he needed help. The last time I saw him healthy was in May of '08. He went into the hospital shortly thereafter and died a few months later of Aids-related primary central nervous system lymphoma. His partner couldn't even stay in the room while he was taken off the ventilator and watch him die. I guess some people can't. To this day I miss him more than life itself. I would give anything to go back a few years and tell him every day how much I loved him. My granddaughter even knows him by his picture and says his name. She is one and he won't get the chance to know her. God has him in His arms now and I know that he is happy. I want people to know that AIDS can touch any family at any time. Please don't shut them out of your life. You will miss them painfully one day. He was 34 and 1/2 when he died. Your only brother is lost without you. Your niece and nephew have a hole in their hearts. And, your sister-in-law loves you and misses you. I know that you can walk now. I know that you have no more pain. I will see you again.
candice
Im a 39 year old woman who is taking care of my mother who found out she had hiv 12 yrs ago . My mom got it from her boyfriend who has passed and everyday she suffers for her mistakes. I also suffer with her i hate to see my mom in such pain . I try to deal with her mood swings and sometimes her anger about life but it gets to me . My mom takes her medicine but now her nervous system is shutting down she used to be so independent . Driving around for herself but now she has to depend on me and its killing her and its hurts me too!!!! She cant walk and she needs a walker she lossed mad weight and i see her dyeing in front of my eyes slowly . Im the only child and my mother was a single parent and she was very strong woman working 37 years for New York City human resources. I want my mother to know i love her and to stay strong!!!!
Loving Relative
My brother who is 35 yrs. old has recently found out about him having HIV. it took a toll on me very hard. I kinda knew that he had it from some of the sypmtoms he was having and the illnesses back and forth in the hopsitals. He was recently hospitalized for pneumonia. On the Thursday before Chrismas eve of 2010 he took a turn for the worst and then I was told. I didnt realize that i would take it the way I did. My borther and I havent been real close all out lives. Hes always been in and out of jail dine he was 14 yrs. old. He lost about 100lbs. in less than a year. he wasnt taking medication or nothing. he never really liked hospitals.
I never questioned him about how, when, where, or with who. he my brother and i live him very much. the damage is done he just have to learn how to live with it. he wanted to give up because he thought about how long he could have had this disease and who he could have infected and who's lives he might have ruined. I think that he's coming along with the situation now because he never thought that our mother and i would except him for whats going on.
He thought that maybe it could have been jail house needles or maybe just having sex with the wrong female. but on GOD knows. We will continue to show our support and let him know that he's never alone.
Thank You for those who have shared their stories and i will show it to him and let him know that it's not the end of the world and that he's not alone.
Love Big Sister
My positive dad
This story is actually about my dad who was diagnosed w aid in 1995. He was only 34 when he found out he was positive w Aids and kept it to himself for about 5yrs. When we did find out It was sadest day ever i love my dad very much and only wanted to see him happy in wht ever he did, unfortunitly the actions he took w his life werent very smart..He started using drugs at a very young age, it started w smking weed and progressed to stronger drugs eventually he started using heroin. the cycle of useing heroin lasted most of my childhood, he was in and out of every prison for as long as i can remember.The drugs really just took over all of him and left me and my bro n sister w/o a dad.. He was soo deeply lost w this drug tht he started sharing needles and having unprotected sex w random females who would either supply the drug or give him $ to buy the drug for both of there pleasures.. It was bad enough to have one parent w aids then to find out a few years dwn the line tht he had given it to my mom she was HIV pos.
SAD :( my dad died in 2003 and my mom followed in 2004.. VERY SAD :( :(
so for everyone out there: Plz protect urself ALWAYS.. ur not the only ones who will suffer from ur mistakes..
jojo
I lost my beloved brother to Aids He was my Hero, and its one month now but its hard to believe that he''s really gone. I knew he was sick back in 1996 and for some reason he was such a strong man and he accepted and founght with this disease like it was nothing to worry about. Its me who was worried all the time and instead he started getting pple to talk to me. The day he passed away, He wanted to stay indoors and started sending txt msgs to every contact in his phone, encouraging messages, love etc. when I came back from work, he was very jolly and started jokes as he loved to joke with everybody,,, I told him I was tired and he advised me to go and rest on the sofa which i did, after about 20min. I just workup in a panic that i didnt understand,, went to his bedroom where he was sending txt msgs to friends, he was long gone with his phone in his hands, he was surely peaceful. I dont know if i should thank God to take him in such a manner or to ask Him why he never gave me chance or let me know that he was going
Ashley
Decmber 3 2008 was a day that changed mine and my little sisters lives forever. December 3 was the day our father passed away from AIDS. He was only forty-seven years old, and he loved me and my sister very much. When we were kids me and my sister remember how much dad loved to work, whether it was out in the yard or whether it was his job. He always tried to be the tough guy but considering me and my sister were both taller then our father no one really took him serious. He was a brain. The samartest person you could ever meet, just by having a conservation with him. He had a big heart, he didnt like people seeeing it that much but me and my sister seen in everyday. I guess you could say was a dork, he used to have huge glasses that he would duke tape in the middle when they broke. The best part of all he was our father. Everyday feels like a battle cause this person that I describe is no longer with us, and thats a callenge we face everyday. Holding his hand as he took his last breathe I begged for more time with him, and I kept asking why him over and over. And then he went. AIDS is something that effects people everyday whether you have it or you know someone with it, but what I wish I could change that I didnt realize at the time is I would have told my father that no matter what I'm here for you. I miss you dad and I know your looking down on me and Brittany. Everything we do we do for you dad. Always and Forever. RIP DAD 12-3-2008.
Proud Husband
Hi, I am 35 and married for 4 years now. I found out that my wife is HIV positive when she was pregnant with our first child.
At first I thought the world was falling on us; never did it EVER cross my mind on switching the blame but i was worried about her and the child. I went to several HIV tests ever since and mine always come negative.
I’m just thankful that our child is now 3 years old and negative. I love my wife and I will never desert her because of her status.
We have a great sex life and although she is a person that hides her feeling; I tried my level best to support her and now she registered for a degree and we going on with our lives.
It’s kinda difficult to live with someone who is HIV positive because you never know whats going on their minds sometimes. The best thing I do is to shower her with love and assure her that everything is gonna be alright.
.A.
My name is A i live in Kenya. I dont have the virus but my older sister has it she is only 28years and dont have a family. I dont know what to do or say to her to make her feel better, the man who gave her the virus is long gone to a different country. She is all alone in a city and far from me and family. Am soooo worried since i am not there to support her.
I now know she is devasted and stressed out since she complains of headaches and rashes which ooozess blood, she complains a lot and that worries me so very much. I usually comfort her over the pone but i feel its not enough. I dont know which stage she is since she is yet to find out.
I have a family who i havent shared with the news since i dont know how they will take it. am sooo stressed out and my work progress is very down especially when i remember my sister.
Please people who live with the disease take heart, God doesnt forsake anyone during there times in need. My only wish is that my sister to be strong since its not the end of the world.
I love her to much and will keep on praying for her each and every day.
Anon
I lost my only brother on September 11, 2007 to AIDS. He was diagnosed September 1996 with full blown AIDS and given 6 months to live. He and I were the only ones to know for 2 yrs. he was so ashamed and he felt i was the only one he could trust.
I am 12 yrs. older and have always been very close to him. He was my best friend. We traveled the country together, he told me all his secrets. I took him to all his doctors appointments which were an hour away because he was afraid to go to a doctor nearer to his home. He was a giant of a man, 6'3" 250 at the beginning. He had wasting in the beginning and lost about 60 pounds in a very short period. then when he began the drug regimen he gained a few pounds back and kept it on for about 5 yrs.
A month after we found out he had it our mom went in for triple bypass surgery and I secretly prayed she would die. I thought it would be better for her to not know or experience his death. He was the baby of our family of 3 girls and he the only son. He was a gentle giant, which was a name he was given by his fellow employees.
Where he worked he had good insurance and had climbed in the company to supervisor. The last year and a half of his life he had missed so much work even being on FMLA that the company demoted him and put him with new employees, they thought he had just started just like them.
It crushed his self esteem even more to be demeaned by a company he had given his all to. He worked up until a month before his death. He had a sore the size of a saucer on his butt from sitting in their chairs for 9 hours a day. He worked for V. the most cut throat business I have come to know. It is all about money to them. He had to try and sell more options to people who already were having trouble just paying their bills. V. didn't care about their customers and they cared less about my brother. He had to park so far from the door he would have to rest to be able to finish his walk into work.
When he died and his supervisors came to visitation they said “we didn't even know he was sick" come on now, he was a skeleton with a terrible color anyone with eyes could see he was very ill. For my brother and parents I said nothing, you see my brother would never have made a scene in public so I have remained quiet until now.
I miss my brother so much. I am thankful that God did give him 11 yrs, when the doctors had given him 6 months. He got to see his nieces and nephew graduate and his great nieces and nephew born. He lived his Christian faith and we were all blessed to have had him and known him for 38 yrs.
Kourtni
My aunt just informed me she was HIV positive she was holding out on telling me because when I first heard a rumor that her partner was infected and she was being naive and not really paying me attention I became angry.
But here we are months later and she tells me she found out six months ago. He has had it for 11 years and he said he gave it to her because he didnt want to loose her. Im so depressed not because of the HIV but because he knew his status and he denied it to her when questioned.
Does anyone have any advice for me because I feel like he is EVIL for doing this I cant sleep or anything but I am soooooo happy that I know about all these meds and I know she will be fine.
Mother
I am the mother of a homosexual son that has been diagnosed with HIV positive. I prayed for years for God to heal my son. He met a woman and married her. He's still gay and practicing while he is married. He doesn't care who he is with. He is so bitter at God for allowing this to happen to him. I have become bitter too. Not only is he still gay and married and his marriage is falling apart but he's HIV positive now. I don't understand God any more. I'm hurting so bad I don't want to live. I wake up everyday with this cloud of misery hanging over me. I think of just ended my life. It seems the only way to stop feeling this awful hurt and pain. I thought God loved me. How can he love me and allow this misery and hurt to continue for years and years. I have begun to think there isn't a God. All I hear is God's love for me. What kind of love is this? I think of all the things I could do to end this since God won't. This mess is forever! I've been going through this for 20 years now. Just want it to end one way or the other. If I have to end my own life.
