A selection of stories about having sex for the first time or deciding to wait, written by different people from all around the world and sent to AVERT.
Avert.org has information and advice for teens about sex and sexuality, including first time sex.
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No Name
I had only been dating my boyfriend for 3 months. I know this probably sounds bad but we've known eachother longer. So anyway, we were in his room, I really like kissing; but he took it farther. He started fumbling with my belt (trying to take it off obviously). I felt scared and nervous. He must've noticed my emotion through my body language. (I have never been good at hiding my emotions). He just looked at me and apologized. I spent some time thinking and i decided I was ready. We talked about it too which helped me make my decision. So we did it. But it was special and super sweet. But really, it's not that big of a deal. Well not for me anyway. I don't feel dirty or a hoe. Honestly, I don't feel like i even lost it. I only feel guilty that i haven't talked to my parents
Walter
My first time was pretty great. It was with a high school crush of mine during a fall break my first semester of college. She was a good friend of mine and we had gotten the whole crew we used to hang with together during break. We had both kind of flirted with each other for a few years, well, more like awkwardly hung out alone and sent each other seemingly knowing smiles during moments of silence. Regardless, the whole group was drinking that night, and as most teens are aware of, drinking inhibits that part of your mind that makes decisions. We also smoked a couple bowls.
So myself and her had a few drinks in us and we were watching The Beach and right at the really romantic part, she and I looked at each other, like we had before when were hanging out, but this time we went for it. Pretty soon, it was a making out and above clothes grope fest between me and her on the couch in the middle of this friend reunion and it wasn't until we started stripping down that we stumbled towards the guest bedroom of the house. Now, I'm a virgin, thought that this night would just be hanging out with friends and getting drunk and had no idea this would happen and so I didn't have a condom...
Three weeks later I get a call from her. She said she had just gotten the test results back for her HIV test. My heart froze. Completely still. I couldn't hear another word she said after she said the test came back negative. Also, she was on the pill so there was no real fear of pregnancy to begin with. Anyway, we had a great time and haven't grown apart, nor sparked up the same romantic flame, and we are great friends. And I've been with 4 other girls since and it's been great, and the girls have been the sweetest I've met. Of course they know me as my alias of Walter, the Junior chemistry major [...]
So yeah I have no regrets everything worked out fine.
AVERT says: It’s really important that you know how to protect against pregnancy, STIs and HIV, as not every story ends like this. Have a look at our Contraception page for more information.
Ashley
I was 14 when i lost my virginity..Im almost 16 now. I wish i could go back in time and take it back, wait a lot longer then i did. My advice, wait till your completely ready, not just because your friends have done it and you haven't. Here is my story..
I was with my best friend Maria and we decided to hang out with our friend Nick, my on and off boyfriend for almost 2 years. He always told me he loved me. I believed it. The last few months before we did it, he was always asking if i was ready, and i kept saying no i'm not. Finally, that night when he asked me, i said yes. I just wanted to get it over with. So we went into the neighbors backyard. He wouldn't use a condom, and i kept telling him to, but he wouldn't. It took him awhile to get it in, but he did. I told him it was hurting me, but he wouldn't stop. Once he finished, he got up, got dressed and left. And never talked to me again.
Still to this day he has never talked to me again, all the time when he was saying i love you, it was a lie. All he wanted was in my pants. Girls, make sure a guy truly loves you before you have sex with him. Wait till your completely ready. Its not worth the pain and suffering you go through if he just uses you and leaves you there like you never mattered. For 8 months i was in pain, i should have waited. But i didn't. I regret it more then anything. I ended up pregnant, i know i was. I missed my period and that never happens. I took a pregnancy test and i was, but i lost it. That hurt a lot too. Wait till your 100% ready. Never let a guy talk you into something your not ready for.
AVERT says: If you feel personally affected by what was said in this story, please see our Help and Advice page for further information and details of organisations who can help. Alternatively, take a look at our Am I Ready for Sex? page.
Bee
Ask almost anyone about their first time, they'll tell you they werent ready, or to wait untill you were in love, or the all too common 'I regret it now'.
I was 18, it was with a friend I had been growing increasingly close with over the past year. We were very open with each other, we could and still do talk about anything whether it be about sex, relationships, or just life. The biggest issue for my friends to wrap their heads around was that he was 21, it's only a 2 1/2 year gap between us, but to them it was a lot.
It started off innocently with just mild flirty texts, and the odd 'look
around to make sure no one just read that over your shoulder text'
just started incresaing from there, over about a 2 month span we had become
closer then we had in the past year we'd known eachother. He knew from the
beginning I was a virgin, and I knew he wasn't. We were open and
confortable enough with eachother to discuss it, we had discussed the fact
that I wasn't on the pill, so there would have to be condoms involved. I
was not about to take the risk of an unwanted pregnancy at 18, while I was
in my first year of university.
He also lived in a different city so we had to jump on the opportunity when I was on a break week, and went to his city to visit another friend, I left her for the day and we went for a drive through the country side, and eventually made it back to his house. It took no time before we were both undressed and in his bed, because we had previously discussed our situation, we were prepared for some blood, and had condoms on hand. Lots of people try to tell you about how much it hurts, and how much blood there will be. It is different for everyone, I guess i was one of the luckier ones, because it hurt less then regular period cramps, but I was also ready, and relaxed. We did run into a bit of a snag when we thought he might be 'too big', so we slowed down, made out some more, and yes we had to get the lube out, but in the end everything worked out.
We were both open and ready for it to happen between us, there wasn't a single awkward moment the entire day, afterwards we hung out for another 2 hours before he dropped me back off at my friends place. Although he and I are not dating, I can say that I have no regrets.
Please dont feel like hiding the fact that you're a virgin is a good thing, be open about it, and it will make eberything alot easier.
Wendy
When i was 15 I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. He already had asexual a bunch of times even though he was 16 because of an ex he had dated for over a year. I never planned for it to happen when it did. We were at his house making out and we started to do oral. That was no big deal since we already done it before. I was so comfortable with him and in love with him so he asked if we could have sex. I told him to try putting it in but were nt going to have full on sex(kinda stupid). Well after a few tries it really hurt and I wanted him to stop but he convinced me to keep going. My mom called while he was inside me and I had to answer. Just hearing her voice reminded me of how much she trusts me and id she knew I was having sex, at such an young age how heart broken she would be. I started crying to him about how sex is a big deal and when I say go stop he needs to stop. Girls or guys do not push yourselves or others to do something you arnt ready to do. Sex is a big deal,espically to people who havnt experienced it. Make sure it is with someone you love and make it count.
AVERT says: If you feel personally affected by what was said in this story, please see our Help and Advice page for further information and details of organisations who can help. Alternatively, take a look at our Am I Ready for Sex? page.
Katie
I lost my virginity to my best friend. I was 17 and so was he. He was not a virgin. We had been best friends for years and there had always been a tension of wanting more. We had been dating for about 2 months and we had talked about it before. He used to tell me that we were never going to because he didn't want me to regret it the way that he did.
We didn't plan to have sex the night that we did but he took me out to dinner and we came back to my house and just happened to be home alone and I knew that that was how is was supposed to happen. We kissed in the hallway and he picked me up and carried me up to my bedroom where we made love. Even though he was so gentle it still hurt a little and I bleed. He told me that he loved me and I knew that he meant it.
I never regretted the way that I lost my virginity and I know that I lost it to the right person. I never trusted anyone more than him and I will always love him.
Michelle
Okay so I am 17 and I am still debating about losing my virginity. I know this is about "sex stories" but I just want girls out there to know that if they are being pressured into having sex, they need to stay strong and because sometime boys can be very hurtful and rude; after all it is not easy to find a guy who does not want to just jump in your pants or stop when you ask him to.
Here is my story- There was this boy and he constantly pressured me for sex or if not sex then other stuff. Its not easy to stand your ground always but in the end it will be worth it. He told me "Your about to go to college, you need to live a little" etc. At first i felt as though he was right and i agreed to meet him at his house. However after thinking for a while, I realized that someone who cared for me wouldn't say that. I kinda had a turn around and told him no and that i was sorry,i just felt he was the wrong guy. He the told me "You cant keep doing this to me." Yes i admit i was wrong to lead him on but what he said afterward made me want to punch him. I said "Im going to college soon though, in like a month" His response was well "so what, i mean we will just grow apart." I realized that he didnt care enough to be my bf or 2. even think for one second that i might be hurt by what he also said. Plus i figured what he said probably meant he would see other girls.
Not every girls story is similar to mine but I know many feel pressured to do it and some guys will even taunt and make fun of girls because they will not give in.
Im not saying wait till marriage, im just saying wait for a man who will love you enough to respect and cherish the gift you are about to give him.After all, sometimes life's roughest roads and trails will lead you to nature's most beautiful places.
Danny
My name is Danny I'm currently 16 years old. I just wanted to say this short story of my first time. My first time I believe was when I was 14. I really liked liked this guy ( almost love) but we hang outed a lot. He was one of my first friends I met at a new school so I didn't know what would happened I was scared! Well he told me all these stories about when he did it so I thought to myself is this guy clean? So I did make him get test just incase something happened. Then he came over after my whole family went out. I was scared like would this hurt what will happen after? The pain was intense like I image my self crying of the pain but it wasn't that bad!( even though I bleed after but not the point)
So I was getting addicted to this so this happened probably a monthly thing but as the days go by i started to notice my bf stood sometimes far away from me. So I ask him" A you cheating on me?" and of course his answer was no. Then that was the biggest mistake I made! The next wk I found him asking so many boys and girls out. I didn't want to break up with him because he was my first love! I kept the basic monthly thing happening and then it finally struck me. He told me right after it's over I just don't feel anything anymore. I began to instantly cry and I was depress. My family knew that I am gay so my mom tried always cheering me up but it didn't work. The sad part of it was everyday at school he hangs out with my group. I couldn't handle no more I decided to leave that group and go wit my friends from another. My friends from the first group seached for me all the time. I couldn't handle seeing his face I cry everytime! I finally got over the break up when I moved back from my current location. I told all my friends i am gay and the whole story of my ex. They cheered me up so much that I forgot bout him.
I don't have lots of boyfriends due to this story I never trust men again not until I find the one that will make me be his main priority. Treat me as I am his world I hope that one day I will find him.
Ps. I hope this has touched many people and helped with any other issues.
Cortney
I was 15 when i lost my virginity...
I had just recently broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years. i went to one of my brothers basketball games. there was this guy there and i had liked him before and he had really liked me (he was 15). we had flirted most of that night and we talked for a week before we started dating. the first time i went over to his house we spent the whole time in his room and laying in his bed. He kept kissing me and he asked me several time if we could have sex, but i told him i wasn't ready and that i was waiting.
Well about 2 weeks into our relationship i finally just gave in (I know, stupid decision right), i wanted to try it i guess and he really did. Well i was home alone and my parents weren't going to be home all day. So his mom drove him to my house so we could hang out. i was really surprised by this.. so we were watching a movie in my room and one thing kinda led to another.
He put a condom on and he put it in me, i wouldn't let him go all the way in at first b/c it hurt, i had my hands on his chest pushing him away so he couldn't go in all the way. well he told me just to let him put it in all the way one time, so i did, it hurt.. it only lasted about 5 min b/c i was in a lot of pain..
We had sex like 3 more times after that and it was a lot easier than the first time but, then he told me one day he loved his ex still, and that he had always loved her... i felt used and like a slut.. I cried for about 2 days bc i had wasted my virginity on him and we had talked about serious stuff too...
Chiago
I lost my virginity at the age of 14. My "boyfriend" was 15.
During that day, we were texting and joking about having sex. Just incase
something did happen, I made sure I was all shaved and cleaned up.. When we
were hanging out at his place in the living room, we decided to just do it.
We were together for almost 8 months so we thought it was the right time
since we "loved" eachother;
He wore a condom and we did it right on his sofa. The whole time I was
scared that someone would walk in on us, but also it hurted a lot; I kept
telling him it hurted but he kept on going for a good 15 minutes; we were
both virgins by the way.. When we finally stopped, I put back on my pants
right away and sat away from him. Then I started to talk about all the
times he hurt me in the past and I began to cry.. And ever since that he
has been different with me. Like he was actually in love. But I didn't care
much about the relationship anymore so I cheated on him many times and just
finally broke up with him... Now we don't talk at all anymore: we don't
even look at eachother. And I regret losing my virginity to him so much!
Now, I am currently dating this other boy, and I'm scared that I might let
him get it in. Ever since I lost my virginity I overcame the fear of
bleeding (btw I didn't bleed) but all I have to say is keep you innocence
girls ! Don't lose it til you married ! And if you already did, don't go
sleeping around with everyOne
Sam
The first time I tried to have sex was with my first serious boyfriend,
whom I thought I'd be with the rest of my life... well we planned it and we
really wanted to do it, or at least I wanted too, I wanted to be with my
friends who already lost their virginity. So we took a blanket and went way
out into the woods next to a river and we placed the blanket down and
started stripping each other. I had seen photos of his dick so seeing him
naked for the first time wasn't as big of a shocker. I felt confident that
I could do it. We were both virgins but we thought we had the experience
from watching animé porn, apparently not because he had a hard time finding
where to insert his penis. Finally as I showed him we were getting really
close to losing our virginity until I pushed away because it hurt like
hell, like as if someone was ripping my vagina open and shoving knifes into
it hell. I didn't let him get close to me it was nothing what I had
expected. So we didn't do it.
Then we broke up because I found out he only wanted me for the sex and I
was refusing to give it to him. I cried for days after we broke up...
Well I tried it again a few months later with a different boy, he wasn't my
boyfriend and we made sure that we both weren't cheating, just too single
people having sex. I had been talking to him through text, he goes to my
school and every once in a while we would sneak off at lunch somewhere
private and start making out and he'd get his hand in my pants and invade
me body. Well I ditched 2nd period to go walk to his house because he
decided to drop out of school, and I knew we were gonna end up having sex
because we had been planning to do it for a long time. I waited for his
sister to leave so we could have his house to ourselves. He was a virgin
too but he acted like he knew what he was doing, he started taking my
clothes off and taking his clothes off and eventually I was sitting on the
couch with him up against me, at first I backed away because it really hurt
then he convinced me and we started doing it, we started having sex, and
that is how I lost my virginity.
though once I left his house to go back to school I started freaking out on
the inside and when I got home I started crying for hours... painful but in
a way I was glad I got it over with.
Kenneth
I'm a 23 year old guy, and i was dating my ex girl who was 16 then and i was 19 years old. We'd known each other for two years, and she was still a virgin and we'd both agreed to have sex when she was 18. We used to kiss and perform oral sex but stops before things went far.
One day she came to visit my me in house, and she was 17 by then. We started kissing and do what we usually, then i told her i cannot wait anylonger but she was so reluctant. Then i accused her of not loving me, because i've been so patient and went on telling her that i am a guy and i've needs. Then i got angry, but she told to get a condom. Then i went to a nearby store and bought a pack of condoms. I began to touch her down there, n tried to stick my finger in her vagina but she screemed. I stopped, then tored 1 condon and put it on.
I'd see the look on her face and the sadness, like i was letting her do something she didn't want or ready to do. I never seemed to care thou cos i never wanted her to change her mind. I immediately wore the condom and stick my penis in, all i'd see was the tears on her face, i went on and on but she never seemed to enjoy then i stopped and told her to dress up and she did. Since then things went bad, and i lost interest on her. She'd call wanting to see me and i'd tell her that i'm not around and i wont be for the whole week.
Then one day i told i called her and told her that we can't continue since i'd found my soulmate. I know it's cold and heartless, and believe you me. I regret evry bit of it. I haven't seen her in 2 years, but i heard that she's now involved with a church man and she's engaged. I'm in a relationship, but it's not really going well. If only i'd reverse the time and support her, and respect her decision things were gonna be different now. I really regret ever forcing her into something she wasn't prepared to do. I cant even forgive myself because, i played her but in the meantime i also think she led me on by allowing me to touch her all over her body. My advise to other guys is that please respect yo women and their decisios, they really deserve that. It's never too late to have sex, if you say you love her, then act like you do and respect her if she's not ready to have sex.
Rachel
My first time was with my boyfriend of 9 months. We were both 16, and we loved each other so much. We talked about having sex before, and we both thought we were ready, so we decided that if the chance came up, we would do it.
One night I went over his house to hang out. His mom left the house to go out, so we were home alone. We started kissing and making out on the couch, and he put his hand up my skirt, and i had my hand on his crotch. We were getting really into it, so I asked if he wanted to, and he said yes. We got a condom out of my purse and he put it on. We could not believe that we were going to do it.
We went up to his room, because I wanted to loose my virginity in his bed, because i was comfortable there. I went on his bed, and he took off my underwear. We started kissing again, and hugging. I laid back and he got on top of me, and he entered me. It only lasted a couple of minutes, because it really really hurt. Afterwards, we got up and hugged each other. We started to cry, because we finally made love, and we loved each other so much.
I love my boyfriend so much, and I know that I want to spend the rest of my life with him. Me and him are closer than ever, and sex just made us more comfortable than ever. I am glad that I waited to have sex with him. I love him.
Rylie
My first time was with my boyfriend of almost two years. We were very much in love and we had been talking about taking this next step in our relationship for a long time, but we could never find the right place or time to be alone. But, one day, we were hanging out at his house, watching TV and we started making out. We got very into it and he told me that his dad was sleeping and he had condoms, if we wanted to. In that moment, I told him yes, I did. So he went to get the condoms and as I sat there waiting for him, I had these mixed emotions. I was happy that I was finally going to experience this wonderful act of love with someone I loved and knew cared and respected me, but I was also really scared. I mean, I could get pregnant or something. I also felt, in a way, that I was letting down my family, being raised in a Catholic background, premarital sex is frowned upon. And by the time he came back from his room with the condoms, I was letting my fears get the best of me. But, he sat down on the couch and we continued to make out. He asked me, "Are you sure?" and I looked straight in his eyes and I had this gut feeling that it was exactly what I wanted and I wouldn't want it with anyone else.
He went in his guest bedroom because it was the closest room to his living room and we began kissing. We undressed each other and got in bed together. I have admit, it was very painful. I did not bleed, like some do though. Because we have such a comfortable relationship, I was able to communicate with him how it was hurtful and he offered to stop, but I told him it was fine. Of course he went slow for me though. I did not orgasm, but he did (I didn't expect to though). After that, we layed naked together for about 20 minutes and talked about it. For me, losing my virginity, was an amazing and comfortable experience. There was no awkwardness and no regrets after. Losing your virginity is not a race, my boyfriend and I were both 16 when we lost it together, but it is not something that can be rushed. When you love someone and with someone you know truly respects you, then losing your virginity will be a meaningful and special experience, like it should be.
Erica and A.J
I'm seventeen and I didn't lose my virginity til a little while ago. It was to my boyfriend and this is how it happened. So, we met one time when I was hanging out with some of my friends. He and I clicked immediately and he was, and still is, different than other guys I've dated. The way he hugs me, and later kissed me was, different. For once I didn't feel like he just wanted sex. He is a little bit older than me and more experienced sexually and never pressured me to do anything. He always stopped when I asked him to. We had been dating six months when we hung out. He kissed me all over and asked me to give him my virginity. He tried but it hurt so bad I asked him to stop. He did. I apologized and he told me I had nothing to be sorry about. We kissed and hugged some more. He told me he wanted to make love to me so bad but I wasn't ready.
The day before Valentine's day, I saw him again. He picked me up from
school during a break and we went to his house. He took me to his room and
kissed and hugged me some more. He started to undress me and I didn't stop
him. He pulled the covers over and I got in his bed. He got on top of me
and kissed all over me again. When he tried to get inside of me again it
hurt but I didn't stop him this time. After a while it didn't hurt anymore,
I actually started to enjoy it. I'm so glad I waited for somebody who
actually had feelings for me and I for him. We are still together. :)
Jen
You know, If you knew me you'd never thought I'd be the one to lose my virginity before I was married. I'm the most, shy, quiet and reserved girl ever.
I am 17. My boyfriend 18. We've been together for 4 months now. The night of our 3 month anniversary I stayed at his. After hours of movies and cuddling he picked me up and took me to his room and sat me on his bed. It was rather cute. He sat next to me and told me he loved me and asked if i'd like to take the next step. I agreed, as I had been waiting for this for a long time.
I was a virgin. He wasn't. But, I couldn't think of anyone else who i'd rather lose it to. I was kind of nervous at first, as he knew what he was doing, but I had no clue.
He sat me on his lap and asked me if I was sure before proceeding to unbutton my shirt and softly kiss me. I wrapped my arms around him and he pulled me closer, and slipped his hands down the front of my jeans. He was so gentle and was constantly asking if I was okay. I was loving every second of it.
After a while, he laid me back and slid off my jeans. Then took off his own. He pushed my underwear to the side and gently pushed in. And yes, we used protection. It hurt a little at first, but I totally ignored it. We moved from his room, to the bathroom and then back again. We both finished and ended up falling asleep together.
It was the most exciting thing I have done in my life. I will never regret it. The fact that my boyfriend cared more about my pleasure then his own meant a lot to me, You don't find a lot of guys like that. And to lose it to someone I truly love is the greatest of all.
