Lindy

I met my friend when I was 16. I was in high school, he was done. We held hand off and on and he kissed me on the cheeks about three weeks later (there about). We kissed on the lips about one months later (yes I wanted to take my time)

We saw each other from time to time, but mostly talked over the phone. We made the decision to go all the way when I was 17 and he was 19 - our parents were at work. We went to an isolated beachside hotel that day.

It started with some discomfort that almost made me change my mind. He was very undestanding and patient. It turned out good in the end. We  had a very steamy and exciting intimate life for quite a while after this...

We broke up when I was 21 yrs old. I had left for University about one year before so we only saw each other during holidays.

We did develop other separate relationships  during that time but, we got close again when I was 23yrs old (out of study)- we were still attracted to each other for many reasons.

I am now 34 yrs old. We are together. We have really care about each other over the yrs and could get legally bonded soon - We are mature adults for some time now- and quite different from the kids we were then.

We have not always practiced condomised sex with each other but we have tried to be faithful and committed to each others health and safety over the years...

Deciding to have sex for the first time should not be forced or rushed ...it should be a bond formed between persons that really care for each other.....It could lead to the development of love that lasts for a life time

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Anon

I was around 13 when I lot my virginity. I regret it soo bad.

I had been with my boyfriend Iain for over a year. We played around with each other but nothing too serious. One winter we were at my place and my mother was upstairs. That is when things got a little hot and we did it.

I'm almost 16 now and I regret it soo bad... He never really loved me. A few months after he cheated on me with a girl 2 years younger.. I was hurt and devastated.

Now I am too scared to even let a guy touch my breasts through my shirt and bra. I don't want to get hurt again.

I am with my new boyfriend Sam and I have never been happier. I'm still too scared to go much.. But I'm warming up to him. I have actually considered having sex with him, but when it comes down to it. I just get too nervous to go past touching.

Girls don't rush things and if it doesn't feel right then don't do it. Just because you were with someone for over a year doesn't mean it will work out better if you have sex. It doesn't always. 

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Justina

I was 12 when i lost my virginity and the guy was 15. Although at the time whenever sex came to mind i always thought i would do it after i was engaged or even married. I thought it would be wrong to do it before then because i had always been that way about sex. But this day wasn't how i planned for it to be like and i have regretted it ever since. Me and my boyfriend talked about sex a lot but i always told him that we wouldn't do it before getting married or engaged. So one day i went to his house and as usual we talked about our day. We had been doing other stuff like oral and other types of foreplay. His parents weren't home so we went up to his bedroom to have a little fun. First we did oral sex to each other. But then he asked do you want to have sex and we were both naked at the time and he was really horny. So i said no and he just kept on pushing it to me and it was scary that someone so close to me could be so demanding to have sex with me. I eventually gave in because he wouldn't stop. So we did have sex and when he started to go in me it really hurt and i told him to stop but he just kept on going. That was what scared me the most that he just kept going. This went on for about 5 minutes and after a while the pain went away but it wasn't fun for me at all.

Afterwards i realised he didn't have a condom on which really scared me. So when he finally got off me he asked if i wanted to do it again. I mean he had the nerve to ask me if i wanted to do it again. I instantly broked up with him after it and i have regretted it ever since. I went for a pregnancy test two weeks later and got my older sister to buy it for me. It turned out i was pregnant so i told my sister and i got an abortion. My sister really helped me through it but just rember don't have sex because you are forced to. If the guy forces you to he isn't the right man for you.

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Anon

I was 15 when I lost my virginity. He was 16. We had been dating for just over 6 months, and we thought we were in love. He had proposed earlier that month, and for some reason I had agreed. We went to the woods behind my house, found our secret make out spot and started kissing. Pretty soon we were naked and he was saying "Why fight it anymore? We'll be married in 3 years". And then I wasn't a virgin anymore. It hurt, but he was enjoying himself too much to notice, and I wasn't strong enough to push him off of me. Afterwards, I bled a lot and was sore for days. I told him that we should wait a couple years until we tried again. Initially he agreed to wait until we were married and had a place of our own. This attitude lasted a week before he subtly began pushing for more. Our relationship deteriorated quickly; he pushed for sex and I pulled away. Everyday I would see him and feel embarrassed. After 10 months together, I could hardly bear to look at him, wondering if he really loved me. I knew I didn’t love him anymore, so I broke it off. I hardly talk to him anymore, but he still hangs out with my group of friends.

I'm 17 now and still regret sleeping with him. A year after I lost my virginity, one of my closest guy friends asked me out and we've been together since. I love him more than I've ever loved anyone, and we haven't even passed 1st base. I guess what I am trying to say is, sex is not necessary even if you love the person you're sleeping with. Until there is a ring on your finger, all bets are off. Fall in love first, get married second, add sex last. Then you are less likely to regret it. If you are mature enough and enough in love to commit to matrimony it's likely you're ready to share yourself completely with another person.

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Hannah

My first time was just a week ago with my boyfriend, Cameron.  We are both deeply in love and I decided that I was ready to make love to him.  We have been messing around for a 2 months, I gave him head and he fingered me, but I wanted to go further.

He never once pressured me, even refused to have sex with me when we were in the heat of the moment even though I was practically begging him.  Cam was so afraid that I would regret it and he said that he loved me too much to let me make a mistake.  His exact words were "if you still want to Friday, then I will make love to you all night long."

So last Friday, we made love.  I took the bus home with him and when we got there no one was home.  We hung out for a little while but then we started to make out on the couch and he started to slide his hands under my dress. He asked if I wanted to go up to his room and I said of course.  We got up there and Cameron closed the door and I laid on the bed. He began taking off my clothes and I his.  He started to kiss my entire body and asked if he should get a condom. I immediately replied yes, not even thinking twice.  He grabbed the condom and slid it on, then he laid on top of me and started kissing and caressing me, he asked "are you ready baby?" and I said "yes, I love you" and then he went in.  It hurt very badly, but not any worse than I would have expected.  I told him to be gentle and he was, the pain went away within 20 seconds and it began to feel very pleasurable.  When we were done, he took off the condom and threw it away and then he wrapped his arms around me and I just laid my head on his chest as he traced my back with his finger for 15 minutes.  When I got up and walked around some, I bled a tiny bit, but it was well worth it.  

Later that night, when we got back from dinner, I wanted to make love again.  We went out into his guest house and immediately went on the couch and took off our clothes.  I was still a bit sore, but it felt much better than the first time.  He wanted me to try on top but it hurt some when he went to deep.  
 
It hurt a lot, but it was worth is.  Cameron and I are very much in love, whether we're only 16 or not.  My number one suggestion beside using protection is to be in love and know that it is time, if you are at all unsure DON'T do it.

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Anon

My bf purposed me when i was only 9yrs old. i first kissed my bf when i was 12yrs in his hand. Then we started kissing, playing, etc.

After completion of high school at the age of he went abroad( i was jus 16 yrs n he was 18 that time). After he returned back he was 21 and I 19yrs. then one day we went at his uncle's house. They were not at home and we purchased condom together. But it was very painful so i could not do it, so we took our first shower together. After few days we went at his house as his parents were out. Then we really did it. Both of us lost our virginity. It was painful but its very precious moment of my life. I've treasured it in my eyes for ever. From that day to till now we have done it many times. Now we will soon get married.

The moral of my story is that we may fall in love at early age but before we do sex we should be mentally, emotionally and physically ready for it. We have done it only after being matured and by using protection. We were not hurry for sex and we waited for the right time and we both did it because we truly loved each other. Guys and girls i would like to suggest u that we have sex because we love our soulmate but fake love for sex is wrong. Sex is something that we do with our true lover only.

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Casey

I was sixteen when I lost my virginity. I had met a boy after a break up with my former boyfriend. I didn't exactly love him and he didn't love me, but he insisted that I sleep with him. I said no a number of times until I finally gave up and before I knew it I was lying beside him tired and sore after unprotected sex. He got up and dressed himself and when I asked him where he was going he said, and I quote, "leaving". With that he grabbed his car keys and he left. That words still haunts me to this day three years later.

Barely a month later, I found out I was pregnant with his child. Not that he paid attention, he denied it was his and didn't bother to have anything to do with me and got a new girlfriend. I was a straight A, softball player, who had always been the "good girl" and I had sex one time and ended up pregnant. I later had his baby boy who's now going on three and doesn't know that his father is never around because he doesn't want anything to do with him.

To any girl reading this, please remember that the word "no" is more powerful than you think. If he doesn't love you and if you don't love him then just leave him. It isn't worth it to sleep with him just because he tells you to. And hearing "leaving" afterward is an experience no girl should go through.

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Sue

Im 16 now but I was 14 when I lost my virginity. I wasn't in a relationship with the guy but i was sure I "loved him. I knew him since 6th grade Nd our 8th grade year he told me he really liked me n wanted to be with me. At first i wasn’t sure if i liked him or not but eventually i fell for his charm.

 He was a lot more experienced then I was n every time we were alone he would try and get in my pants n try to finger me but i was too young and scared to let him do anything. His response to me denying him was to get mad n make fun of me for being too scared... of course being who he was I wanted to give him everything.

One day in the summer before our freshman year of high school he invited me to his house. At the time i was with my best friend n he was with his friend so i wasnt worried about him trying anything.

Once at his house he kept on inviting me upstairs to "show me something" after i gave in we went upstairs to his room and started kissing. I knew what he was planning to do and all i kept thinking was "let him do it. Just let him do it."

We had sex and after all i wanted was to get my best friend and leave. I felt sick and embarrassed of myself. He told all his friends and everyone soon found out about my "one night stand" with him. I regret it so much because it meant nothing to him all i was was another girl to add to his list.....

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Kandi

When I was 14 I had lots of friends and I knew that I wasn’t going to have sex till I was older, not till I moved to this big high school.

When I moved to the high school I met this really cute guy who I fell in love with, I only knew him for a couple of days before we started going out. He was like my word I would go everywhere with him.

But I also had this three best friends who I loved and cared about so very much, but I lot them all because of my exboyfriend. He would never let me go out or do anything, I lost my mom trust and my sister and also my aunts. I had sex with this boy thinking I was going to be with him for the rest of my life.

He made new friends and he started kicking it with them, and at that time I had already lots my three best friends they had given up on me and just didn’t believe in me anymore. I was starting to lose everything that had matter to me the most in the world, and that was the people who did loved me. So I had sex with this boy and after a few mouths he started talking about me to people and I did it with him. He made me go though hell, always making me cry telling me that I was stupid and nasty things like that.

Now I am 15 and turning 16 on may, he is no longer in my life or my three ex best friends. My mom has to live with me so she can’t do anything about it. All I know to you who read this is be careful who you full in love with because I wasn’t careful and I wish I had someone to tell me before!! 

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Allena

My first time was just a few weeks ago, with a person I've been seeing for a couple months - a guy that I deeply care about, trust, and have fun with. I'm falling in love with him and he is with me, but I realize that life isn't a fairytale, so when I made this decision, I made sure that even if we break up later, I wouldn't regret it because it was the right time for me. I've been taught to wait for marriage, but I don't want to get married for a long time and didn't want to fight nature anymore...

I'd been researching birth control methods, so I got some condoms, spermicides, and the patch from Family Pact; I'm a free spirit but I wanted to be ready! Oddly enough, later that same day, he and I went out and parked without thinking much of it. We sneaked off into an orchard with nothing but a couple blankets and condoms... I expected it to hurt, but I relaxed and we used lubricant. Missionary was painful, so we switched and I got on top and gently eased into him, and it felt much better... it was a nice feeling, a lot like what I expected (except I felt like I had to pee). I didn't bleed at all, or hurt a lot like what I'd heard - everyone's different, so don't worry about the pain your first time. I looked up at the stars and full moon while we did it, toes frozen solid from the night cold and being naked outdoors, but having fun, laughing at the mishaps I had ("You can't figure out how to put my penis in your vagina? You should know where it is!"); neither of us finished, but he didn't want to go too long on my first time and this was a 'practice' session; so we just cuddled each other for a long time and looked at the sky. Then I realized I wasn't a virgin anymore... and I found out that it wasn't necessarily a good thing or a bad thing. It's whatever you make it.

Since then, it's gotten better, and we're closer than before. In accepting the sexual side of me, I'd come to be comfortable with my whole body and the person I am. It sounds strange, but it feels right! And that's what's important - if it feels good to stay a virgin, then go with that! But make sure whatever you decide, you decide for yourself and not for others.

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Demetri

So me and this girl in highschool have been going out for 3 years and we really felt like we liked each other and got along great. My hormones were raging to have sex with her and I bet hers were too, and it all happened in her room when her parents were out. Well, at first we were watching movies, getting really intimate (kissing, touching each other etc) and we both looked at each other and felt like we were ready for sex.

So when her parents were out, we went to her room to get a little bit more comfortable, then all of a sudden I’m naked and she’s naked in the covers. As a guy, of course I get in its sex! When we were both done we both felt great after it, she had 2 orgasms and we never regretted it since...

I’m still 14 about to turn 15, and were still going out. We both thought that was a night that we would never forget, and trust me I wouldn’t.

Moral of this story is to only have sex with the person you truly love and trust. Always wear protection and just have a great time with your true love!

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Lana

I've always been cautious when it comes to relationships. I want to make sure they actually mean something, and aren't just for the heck of it. So in high school I only dated three guys. The first two only lasted a few months. But then, the summer before my junior year, I met Noah.

Noah and I took our relationship very slowly – we both really liked each other from the beginning, and we didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize that. We were very open about things, though, and when it came to sex, we both said No way! We both believed in waiting for marriage.

Just because we said we wouldn’t have sex didn’t mean we didn’t have a physical relationship. We kissed, we touched, we did things – but we never actually had sex. It was a nice compromise, at least for a while.

A few months before the end of my senior year, we started talking about having sex. We loved each other very much – you’ll be hard pressed to find a couple more in love than Noah and I! Especially since we were still in high school. We wanted to make sure that if we were going to do it, we’d do it right. So we did our research, learned the risks, knew all about pregnancy risks and STIs. We bought a pack of condoms at te store together, so we’d be ready. And, sure enough, after my senior prom and before our after party, we had sex.

It was an unbelievable experience. Having sex wasn’t just about being physical for Noah and I – it’s an emotional bond, too. By being so connected to someone, it’s such an intimate moment in so many ways. I feel like having sex has made or relationship even stronger than ever. I’m now almost done with my freshman year in college, and Noah and I are still together. We’re planning on getting married after he finishes school.

I would never have made the decision to have sex if I wasn’t in love with him. Not only were we in love, but we had committed ourselves to each other – we both know that we’re going to spend our lives together. I think that’s so important when you decide to have sex – make sure it’s someone you love more than anyone in the world.

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Clemmie

I lost my virginity when I was 14 and i regret it so much. I am still 14 as i write this and all i can say to all you girls is, don’t make the same mistake as i did and have sex for the first time with a man you love, but doesn’t love you back.

I'd known this guy for a year and we'd been planning on being together for about 6 months but never got round to it so we both went out with different people. After the summer holidays, he broke up with his girlfriend who he's been with for 4 months because she had lost her virginity to a guy she didn’t know and i broke up with my boyfriend and we told each other that we wanted to loose our virginity to each other. By this stage i'd been in love with him for about 3 months.

One day, he asked to meet up and the next thing i knew, we were both naked, in a wood, having unprotected sex. It was possibly the worst mistake i could have ever made. I ended up having unprotected sex with him a number of times on different occasions. I loved and still do love, him to bits but he never cared even though he told me he did. I took a test straight away and told my best friend, and it said I wasn’t pregnant. He broke up with me several months later and now, he's back with his old girlfriend, and with her for all the wrong reasons.

He told me he cared, but he truly never did. He told me he would get out of my life, but he wont and hasn’t. To this day, I’m now still at school, and I'm having an abortion with the NHS in 3 days time and my parents and family have no idea. Please, all you girlies out there, don't do what i did. Make sure you love each other, and for crying out loud, use protection.

AVERT.org. If you have experienced anything mentioned in this story, please see our Help and Advice page.

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Rach

I've read these stories and while I think the advice is good for the most part, some of them really bother me.

They bother me because these stories are so much about the other person and how special it is to "give yourself" to them.

I won't dispute that this is a wonderful feeling and there is nothing like it in the world however, it misses the point to tell someone to wait "until they are with someone they love"
The most important thing isn't to "truly be in love" or "wait until you know this is the person you want to be with forever"

The deciding factor about whether you have sex or not should be YOU! No one else

I myself am not sure if I chose the right time to have sex. I did everything right so to speak. I gave myself completely to the boy I loved. But he broke up with me and even though I know my decision was "right" (we loved each other and I wanted to give myself to him) I don't feel I was comfortable enough with myself to do that. I have never felt "sexy" or "beautiful" and sex with him was a huge boost to convince myself I was. They say you need to love yourself before loving another person. This is true. After he left I had no self-esteem. I was (somewhat still am) convinced sex was the factor that caused the break up since we had been so in love.

Now I have a horrible need to be sexy and good in bed. I am sleeping with 2 guys now and worry everyday about pregnancy and STDs. I don't love myself because I was convinced that giving someone my virginity was the key to a successful relationship. You only give that away to your "true love"

What I'm trying to say is that is 100% not true! Even if you regret giving up your virginity you can still give someone a precious gift, consentual sex is an intimate activity that even in the worst of times makes us feel wanted and desired. I think there is a lot of pressure to make that first time so perfect and in reality it probably won't be. My first time I was nervous and had no idea what to do. I am little by little discovering my own sexuality, and learning it is a journey you may start on with one person and end up with someone completely different. Your first time doesn't have to be perfect or even good. It’s just the first step on your journey. And whether it is a good or a bad experience all you can do is learn about yourself and move on. The person by your side during this first step isn't the most important thing. YOU are!

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Ashly

I'm an 18 year old girl. The first time I lost it I was 14 and he was 19, I didn't plan on it in fact I only knew the guy for a few weeks. But I was going through a rough time my mom had moved and sent me to live with my aunt for a while, I was molested as a child, then I never had a father and no ma has ever wanted anything more that sex from me so I kind of was looking for love, although I didn't love him and still don't we ended up doing it in the back seat of his car one day cause I just wanted to get it over with I also felt my virginity left me more vulnerable to men. Anyways we did it and it hurt a little then it was just whatever. We did it two more times and then the fourth and last time I figured losing it wasn't that special and I want this to feel how it should so I took control and it was amazing, however I do think that making love will be much more pleasurable, because you could explore both bodies in a much deeper way than just doing it carnally.

I regret it because I didn't love him and I knew better and wanted to wait for someone to love me and I the same, however I wouldn't take it back because some have learned from my experience and it's what made me grow up and really appreciate the aspect of love. Now, that I'm 18 I'm not going to do it until I'm married I won't be a virgin but I only had sex with one guy and no one can fault me for that, but to the girls who still have the virginities hold on till the one who deserves it and you comes along, and to those who made the mistake even if it was pleasurable stay try not to do it with anyone you're not absolutely in love with, and him with you, and being married first is a plus.

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