Dede

I was 18 (my senior year) when I gave up my virginity (he was 21). I met him at my graduation party because one of my friends brought him along. We hit it off and started dating.

We ended up dating for three months before it happened. I knew I was mentally ready to loose my virginity. I felt so comfortable with him it was ridiculous haha. He never ever pressured me into having sex with him. We came close a few times before we actually ended up doing it.

The night it happened we were at his house hanging out, and of course we started making out and what not and we took off our clothes (which has happened before). He was honestly expecting nothing that night he told me I caught him completely off guard. And i ended up asking him do you have a condom because its saying you want to have sex without saying it. And he said yes and kept asking are you sure, are you positive because he new i was a virgin and i said yes i was sure. So we ended up having sex when he put it in, it didn't really hurt, a slight pressure but nothing really painful. (i think its because i was comfortable and not that nervous). It ended up going on for a while and he kept checking to make sure i was okay...it started to hurt so I asked him to stop and he said yes with no issue. We ended up cuddling for the rest of the night. He was supper sweet about it and made me feel comfortable the whole time. we are still together after a year and i'm glad i gave it up to him.

The most important thing is that you are MENTALLY READY to GIVE your virginity up. Its more mental than anything else. You need to feel comfortable with your partner and comfortable with yourself and not let anyone pressure you into it. Because I was mentally ready I have to no regrets or second thoughts.

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Christine

I lost my virginity when I was sure I wanted to marry my boyfriend.

I was 22 and my boyfriend M was two years older. M was starting a small business of his own and we spent a lot of time in the office where he and his business partner rented. Both virgins, we had been seeing each other for a year.

M adores me.We were happy together. From time to time, whenever we were alone, he teased me, cuddled me and touched my body. I was getting hot for him and one night, we decided to we will lose our virginity together.

We were nervous and inexperienced. It was no fun at all and it felt funny. He entered me but it felt weird and it hurt a little. I kept wondering whether he knew what he was doing. but I did not ask him questions I did not enjoy our first time. We did not have a condom so he pulled out and came on my belly. That was nothing like the romance story.

We learnt to be more careful afterwards and sex got much better. It turns out M was not meant for me. But I never regret losing my virginity to him because I really really cared for him. I guess it is better to have sex with someone you really care. So no regrets.

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Donna

I was seventeen when I lost my virginity. It was with a guy I was dating, who was about three years older than me. We weren't even a couple.

He invited me over his house for a day, and I knew something was going to happen because he told me no one would be home. I should have denied, but at that time I felt I had to see him.

It started out as a makeout, then his lips trailed south, down my neck, and finally down to my breasts. A part of me wanted to push him off, but another, more impatient side let him continue. He ended up taking off my bra and top, and I was on top of him while he madeout with my bod. Not to get too graphic, of course.

We ended up having sex, even though we "agreed" not to during the makeout session. I was naive in believing him. He did it in little steps, testing waters, like slowly boiling a frog in water by increasing the temperature by one degree every few seconds. And me being the virgin I was was too caught in the moment to realize we were heading to penetration. When it was over (which was probably after 5 minutes) I didn't feel like anything. Just tired, and a bit relieved it ended, because even though during the sex it wasn't painful, the initial penetration hurt so, so much.

I bled for three days, and was sore for two. I wasn't especially regretful a day later, but three days afterwards I felt sad and paranoid. I should have waited. I should have. But I didn't.

Now I'm scared he'd think I was easy, because we were only seeing each other for roughly a month and a third. And halfway through we had separated and then got back together. The sad part was that I liked him, but not to the point where I felt it was "love". I feel cheap compared to the other authors of the stories that are featured, because they all felt they had "loved" the other before sleeping with him, even if it ended badly afterwards.

To all the girls wondering if it is better to wait, it truly is. I hope this story was proof enough..

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Anon

So I was 16 and in a relationship with this guy that I had a crush on for about 2 years. We were dating for almost a year and a half when we did "it"...

He was 18 at the time, and was obviously very horny. He never pressured me into sex, but did ask a couple times. After I said no, and that I was not comfortable with it he told me that it wasn't a problem and he would wait until I was ready.

But for some odd reason I felt guilty for not giving him sex. He was basically an adult and would obviously like to be sexually active, and it just felt like I was holding him back, so I finally did gave it to him...

We were at his house playing xbox, (I'm totally a video game junky. I know, weird!) and started to fool around after we were done playing. We had fooled around before this and I let him finger me and I gave him a handjob but we never got even close to having sex. So we were fooling around and one thing lead to another, so the clothes came off and the love was in the air. I was so horny, that I knew that the next morning I would regret it but I just couldn't stop myself.

He finally stuck it in me. It hurt SO badly. I screamed, so he pulled out and asked me if I was okay. I told him to keep going, and that I would be okay. The rest of it was very painful, and I do remember bleeding a little bit.

After we did it, I did regret it immediatley. Even though we are still together till this day ...I just feel like I did it for the wrong reasons. And even though it was some what enjoyable ..I know that I'm going to have to live with this regret forever.

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princess

i was 19 and he was too..My first time was with my current boyfriend of 2years! he's always saying he can never force me to do anything and he'd wait for me until i'm ready... i can't say i was,but it happened so fast... he had been away for around three weeks and i was used to seeing him all the time. so when he told me he was coming home,i was so excited i dedicated the next week to him!i would spend it all with him! that monday we were at his house,and we started kissing almost immediately after we stepped in! foreplay was great,he had condoms with him,it was jst a matter of saying yes or no! i had really really missed him and i jst wanted to be with him..in every way possible!especially since he was travelling again the next day! he asked me if am sure about this and i jst nodded... so he put on a condom and i was excited yet nervous.. he pushed it in and it went in so smoothly! i think the trick here is to make sure you relax completely because if you do,its human nature for the vagina to expand and accomodate the penis no matter how big you think it is! if you love him like i did,still do,it makes it even easier because you feel safe with him and you can trust him with your body! it was abit painful!jst a bit!and the funny thing is that i dnt remember bleeding at all and it was my first time!! i wasnt worried coz we used a condom and we had a beautiful moment!i dnt regret it at all...but it was the first and the last time we had sex until we decided sex is only right after marriage! we are still together,happy as always,and i look forward to being his wife,and to share his bed.. :) he's a wonderful man!can't trade him for anything in this world.

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Tania

I was 14, and from my own area drinking and drugs wasn't anything new. Me and my best friend at the time had went to get our alcohol. Meeting up with a few friends then ditching them after, we were drunk heading down the road just for a walk when we came across these guys. (Around 6/7 of them) Having been very drunk already, and talking to these guys for about an hour or so, they had offered to go get more alcohol. We said yes, drunk it, and hooked up with a guy each.

I had ALWAYS wanted to try sex, as much as the next teenage girl. Being stupid, niave, immature, and worst of all drunk, we went not far from the spot were we had met these guys to the back of an abandoned house. My friend at the time had already had a boyfriend, being a year older than me and having sex with that boyfriend whom she had also known just a week. The guys asked us previously if we were both virgins and our ages to which we both lied about. So having been in a more high and drunk state than previous, me and this guy, who was 22 had started kissing, rubbing etc all over. He told me he was 17 - to which he really did look younger than his actual age.

So we finally layed down on a dry concrete bit on the back of this house, and he started to finger me. I then (this being my first time actually having oral sex as well) continued to masturbate him with my hands and lips. He finally lifted me up and pulled down my pants. Not even asking, are you sure you want to do this. With my legs wide open, he the continued to insert his penis into my vagina. It was as those a numb feeling had come over me! Overwhelmed with what had been going on, my stumach started to churn, this "diry" feeling had already over come me. He was very rough, not caring about how it was making me feel, saying things "your so tight" it disgusted me to say the least. He threw me on top, to which I couldn't move at all. I can't put into words how painful this was. I just wanted to be sick and close my legs. (all the while my friend was having sex on another part of the site with the other guy)

We then finnished at that moment, and pulled our trousers up. I was babysitting that night, and they had walked us both up. After my aunt haven been gone, we invited them both up, to where we had sex a further few times with these two - men. He ejaculated in my mouth, on my chest and on my clothes. I was DISGUSTED in myself. We both heard nothing from these two men, nor did we want to. But me - having been so stupid! Went and had sex with his other friend the next day. We didn't use a condom any of the times. To which I had a pregnancy scare.

I am now nearly 17, and have learned that this is the biggest mistake of my life. I have learned from it, and am now staying clear of sex and relationships. I no longer drink, and when I do it is under the supervision of my parents or with a few close and mature friends in my home. Even to this day - reminicing about that experience, brings back the shame and disgusting feeling I have over myself. I regret how I lost it, who I lost it with, where and under the circumstances. If anything, I have gained a lot more maturity through the hole damn thing. I still feel like absaloute filth. Since then, I had been in a relationship with my best friend of 15 years, for 2 years. We had protected sex twice, and are continuing now to be best friends. The comfort and acceptance and happiness he has brought me is beyond compare.

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Lauren

My name is *Lauren I'm 16 and i lost my virginity to my ex-boyfriend about 2 weeks ago. Rashad and I were together for 2 1/2 years, we fell in love, all the way up to the end of our freshman year of hs. We decided to break it off and were not together all of sophmore year. He moved 45mins away but we couldnt really get each other all the way out of our lives.

We started talking again the beginning of the summer and i soon got my license/car and began to see him. We'd had alot of conversations about sex.

One morning we were in his bed making out and he asked me if I was ready. I  said yes and he got a condom and started fingering me to relax me. He didn't do that for long then he stuck it in and it did not feel good at all! I was screaming and we had to keep stopping .So we switched positions and I got on top. Physically it was not good but in my mind I loved & still love every second of it. We still have sex now and its gotten much, much better and feels soooo good.

I'm glad I lost my virginity to him because he's my 1st love no guy has even been close to making me feel the way he does whether we get back together officialy or not I'll always love him, make sure you're comfortable with who and what you're doing and that you can live with your decision years & years from now.

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Mia

My first time was unplanned, painful and short. It happend when I was 14. It was with a friend who was also in my class.

I was at a new years eve party with some of my girlfriends. He was there with some of his friend to. He asked me to dance so I said yea why not. After the song was over he got use some punch later which I found out was spiked. I wanted to go home because I didn't feel well he told me that he know where I could lie down.

Once we got to the room he close the door and pushed me on the bed. Then he began to get undressed , he got on top  of me unbuckled his pants and lifted up my skirt . It hurt really bad. I tried to push but he pined me down. Then after a couple of minutes he left me alone in a room bleeding. We never talked and it hurts ever time looks at me in class. So I now always stay with your friends at a party and sex is no joke

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Rebecca

My first time wasn't like I expected it to be.  It was with my best friends friend. Before it happened we always made everytime I went over there.  I thought he was amazing. He was cute, nice body, sweet, the whole works.

One night he came over to her house in the middle of the night when I was sleeping on the couch and woke me up.  He told me to go outside with him so I did.  We went in her back yard and started to make out.  He started taking off my cloths and I stopped him.  Then he kissed me again and I lost it I couldn't hold back anymore.  He laid me down on the ground and he got half way in and I came up with the nerves to stop him.  He told me he wouldn't stop what we're doing even if I'm not ready for sex.  Well he lied about that whenever I saw him he would'nt even look at me.

I bled a little bit and didn't realize I actually lost my virginity because he didn't go all the way in.  The next time I had sex was with this guys I was seeing for a year and I told him that I was still a virgin but when we actually had sex he's like I thought you were a virgin and I had to tell him about that other guy.  So I lost my virginity to some guy I didn't even really love.  I regret every second about what we had together.

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Amy

I'm 16 and my first time was with my boyfriend of 18 months and he is my first love. We had spoken about sex for about a month and we both felt ready so I started to take the pill. We were moving at a steady pace that suited us and I have never felt pressured by him.

I was at his house in his bedroom and we were laid together cuddling and I looked into his eyes and said that I wanted him to make love to me. He asked if I was sure a million times and I said yes defiantly. We laid his duvet on his bedroom floor and put cushions down. We undressed each other and he put on a condom. I laid down as he slowly entered me, we just looked at each other and I cried so much. We were both nervous but wanted to do it. He was scared of hurting me and I did have slight pain but it wasn't as bad as I'd expected.

We tried different positions to see what worked best for us then when we had finished we cuddled for a long time and he said to me 'when I say I love you in a second I have never meant it more, I love you'. I cried so much and he held me close and kissed me.

The guy I lost my virginity to I love with all my heart and I'm so glad we waited, it was amazing and neither of us will regret it. We now have a new way of showing our love for each other. I advise people to wait until they are with some-one who truly cares about them as you only loose your virginity once and when it's gone there's no way of getting it back.

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Kasey

My first time was when I was 18.

It happened on the one-year anniversary of my boyfriend and I. Both of us were first-timers. Beforehand I was extremely nervous! We started foreplay in the shower, which later was taken to the bedroom. Even during the foreplay my heart was going out of control.

He didn't think we were going to do it then, but I suggested that I wanted to. So we continued our foreplay, and at several points he looked at me and thought I wasn't into it and made sure several times that I was okay. When I said that I thought I was ready, he told me to just let him know when we should start, and that I need to be completely sure and that we don't have to.

After about 5 or 10 minutes of thinking about how much I trust him, I told him that I was ready. He again made sure I was. After reassuring him, he went and got the condom on and all. I was scared it was going to hurt, but my hymen had previously been broken, so it was only a little pressure.

The whole experience was very enjoyable, because I did it with someone who I loved and completely trusted :)

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Ebonie

I lost my virginity when I was 18. I knew I was ready because I had wanted to have sex for years with a boy I had met in 8th grade and fell hard for. Throughout high school he always wanted to have sex with me but would never commit to me and so I would always turn him down. When we graduated from high school and were going to attend different colleges I felt like I would never have feelings for someone like I did him so the week before I left for college I decided it was time even though we weren't together. I had waited 5 years for this.

He came over my house and did nothing to make me feel comfortable. We didn't involve in foreplay and I undressed myself. Finally when he began to penetrate I asked him to stop and he did asking why. I started to explain that it hurt and when he saw i was going to change my mind he continued without my consent.

The act of sex was quick and painful and he left soon after wards leaving me in my bed and not checking to see if I was okay. I left for college not having heard from him.

This was not how I pictured my first time I thought that we would be emotionally connected and we would finally be together but I was wrong. I don't regret my first time as it was with someone I loved but it didn't work out how I wanted.

 

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Paris

Hello, my name is Paris and I am a 16 year old virgin. Some of my friends that i hang out with lost their virginity. We always have our little girl talks and having sex with boys always pops up. I ask alot of questions because I sometimes want to know if losing your virginity will hurt? One of my friends said that it only hurted for the first 5mins then it began to feel good. Then my other friend said it really hurts. But what I dnt understand is why do my friends have sex with these boys if their not a couple? Honestly, I would never do that. I want to find a man I can trust and one day have children with. When I ask my friends why do they have sex with boys that are not with them they say " I dont knw". I am not scared to lose my virginity I'm just waiting for the right man to come across. Maybe it will take me a while to lose it but the longer I wait the more I would want to have sex.

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Mike

I first had sex when I was 21 with my girlfriend Kelly (who was 22 and lost her virginity to me as well).
We had been friends at school for quite a while and I had the biggest crush on her. One night while we were on a camping trip, I realized she liked me back. We started dating the next day. Three days later, we were sitting on the couch, and she asked me if I've ever had oral sex before (she had but I hadn't), I said no, asked me if I wanted to try it, so we did. Apparently she told me I was pretty good at it for someone who'd never done it before.

And about a month later came the sex. It started off as experimentation but quickly turned into pure love making. I remember starting out, I was afraid to have sex at first because I knew sex for the first time for a girl hurt and I didn't want to hurt my baby. But she just asked me to go slow and hold her while I did it. I remember hugging her close to me as I penetrated her for the first time. It did hurt her a bit but she wanted me to keep doing it. It just felt so right. I was the catholic boy who said he'd wait for marriage but I made an exception for Kelly.

We're still both best friends and in love. I recently asked her to marry me and she said yes!

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Ally

I lost my virginity soon after I turned 18. Loosing my virginity at that age personally is something that I dearly regret. I regret it mainly because I had always believed in the idea of no sex before marriage, but yet, there I was, busy having sex.

I lost my virginity with a man 8 years older than me. I had been curious about sex and I decided that I would have sex not only out of curiosity but also out of revenge. The love of my life, with whom I had planned to lose my virginity had just started sleeping around and I was so heart broken over that thought. I then got involved with this man, lets call him "Jey" because I wanted my sweet revenge, hoping that my ex, lets call him "Tee" would be heart broken by my actions. That was the biggest mistake I have ever made.

A few weeks after meeting Jey, we drove off into a bush somewhere. I had told him previously through text messages that I had wanted to lose my virginity. When we were alone in the bushed in his car, as we started to kiss and got naked, and I begun to change my mind. But it was too late to stop him. I told him that I didn't want to do go all the way, but my plea fell on deaf ears, or rather on an erect penis. He climbed on top of me and put on a condom and shoved his penis into my vagina thrusting painfully. At that very moment I knew that my virginity was never going to come back to me and I regretted my actions from the very moment we had sex. Despite this, we still met up a few more times before I went back to college and had sex.

I have since slept with 7 men since I begun college. I recently had sex without a condom for the first time. I slept with my boyfriend whom I know does not love me. I he forced himself on me, and I don't know whether to call it rape or not, as I was opposed to having sex without a condom in the first place.

In simple terms, when you are a virgin, and you are not sexually active, you do not have to worry about pregnancy or catching an STD. Those are things that have constantly plagued my thoughts since I became sexually active. Sometimes I want to be celibate, but its really hard.

I think it is best to have sex for the first time with someone who really loves you, and not for the sake of revenge as in my case. Also, once you lose your virginity, you can never get it back. Think twice, thrice, four time, five times over even before you decide to have sex because the consequences are not small. If I was still a virgin, I think I would wait a little longer to lose my virginity. I am 21 now and I know for a fact that I am more mature now than when I was 18.

And that..... ladies and gentleman.... is my story.

AVERT.org, if you feel that you have been sexually abused or subjected to rape, please contact a confidential rape centre. You can search for these, using Google, or you can contact AVERT.org and we will help you find a centre. 

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